Peace. Breathe. Release.

Happy Saturday, world. 

I've woken up after not much sleep with my cat purring on my lap and a brand new day ahead. 

Regardless of all of the negativity that has invaded my space lately - I'm letting it go. 

Grief is a fickle thing and comes in many ways when you least expect it. 

Yesterday I broke down. I let life get the better of me but sometimes you need a good cry. You need to be tested. I've made it out to the other side with a more positive mind set. 

I will no longer focus my energy on anything negative. I am cleansing my life, releasing the past and starting over. 

The truth is that I've been angry and allowing negativity into my life because I didn't understand why all of this stuff has had to happen to me lately... but everything I've lost IS replaceable. I wasn't hurt and while I may have PTSD to sort through after what happened the other night I know I'll be okay. Because I always am. I'll pick myself back up, slowly piece back the pieces, get back what I lost even if it's not the same quality... it's all material crap at the end of the day. The positive side is that I wasn't hurt. I wouldn't wish that onto anyone. 

I'm moving to America soon for such an exciting new life - and I have so many amazing friends there already. People who care and support and shine positivity onto my life when they know I need it. That's the kind of person you want in your life. The people who are bitter, resentful, jealous and holding grudges for no reason have their own issues and need to go take a good long hard look in the mirror and sort themselves out. That's what I'm doing. I'm sorting myself out. Because I am FAR from perfect. I stuff up. But I do not hurt people. I help others. I work hard. I play harder because I am still young and I deserve it. I have always worked hard and been incredibly motivated and driven. I have also always been an outgoing, fun-loving person who ALWAYS offers to pay her way which you would know if you actually knew me. I am beyond grateful to every soul who has been there for me through the turmoil and they know I would be there for them in a heartbeat if roles were reversed. I love and laugh and while I might break down from time to time that's because I'm only human and today I woke up and realised that that is enough. People look in and see your life from afar and they judge and make assumptions but that is not my problem.

For the past year I have been working on fixing my life. Working on my evident flaws. I'm a long way from being perfect and I know I never will be - but I am growing into the person I want to be and someone others want to have around more and more each day. I have been owning up to my faults and I am proud of that - can you say the same?

We are all only human. Let that be enough.

Peace. Breathe. Release. 

Ciao Bella.