Catching up and Connections.....

Well, its another Leap Year... And its going fast! Tomorrow we will be heading into March! Thankfully and gradually through a substantial amount of horrible time, I found a job. But for once I am going to write my blog in order and not get ahead of myself.

So where were we? Ah yes - Valentines Day...

Unfortunately there is nothing to brag about on my blog about my 2011 Valentines. Funie and I were both flat broke for the majority of February so we kept things simple. We ordered Thai Takeouts, watched a DVD and fell asleep early. I did surprise him with a back massage with Janet at Body Essence, but he only got it on the 19th.

I went for numerous amounts of interviews, all of which turned out to be massive let downs. Most of them were all based around commission and another ridiculous one wanted my hours to be 7pm - 7am!!! (and the salary wasn't even handsome!)

I feel for everyone out there looking for a job, especially in Knysna! It is extremely dense and difficult to find one! You have literally got to lie your way through every job interview and tell them anything and everything that they want to hear for them to even to consider you being applicable for the position.

Well, I've pretty much always done that to secure a job..... I guess most people do right? You tell them stuff like your weaknesses are that you are a perfectionist etc... You don't go and say: 'Well, sometimes I'm just not in the mood to work and I get really grumpy when I don't eat or haven't slept enough........."

After a rough couple of days, Michael told me he'd spend the day with me and try to cheer me up. Funie was working and as I'd spent an uncountable number of days at home behind my computer screen writing my latest novel, I jumped at the chance to get out and have some fun with a good friend.

We were half way through driving to Plett, after saying we were just going to 'drive' and see where the road takes us while listening and singing along to music in his jeep, when we accidently hit a baby baboon. Michael nearly cried and it was completely awful. I made him turn the car around so we could see if the poor thing was OK but it was gone. The mother had picked it up and ran off into the bush, so ever since I've just been hoping that we just ran over its foot or something and that it will eventually heal :(

We tried hard to forget about it and went for a long surf, I don't mean to brag, but I ROCKED! I know to bystanders I still look like a beginner surfer and so on, but I can feel the difference and improvements every day! It feels amazing! One day I'll look good too, but for now, just feeling good and learning is enough for me!

I finally found a job at East Heads Cafe, a local cafe by a beautiful tourist destination in Knysna. Its absolutely fantastic to have such an amazing view to look at when I'm at work, and I get so many compliments from our guests. I'm pretty sad that my time has been taken away from my writing, I think I was really getting somewhere with it. Now though, I'm far too tired to write when I get home from work.

I get one 'off-day' a week, so I'm planning on using those days to write in. I work through weekends now too, so its almost as though I don't have one which I can't deny is shitty... but right now I need the cash so I'm going to have to suck it up until something better comes along.

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The below is just a little paragraph of writing I wrote; about connections:

How often is it that you feel a strong sparkling connection with someone? I've barely ever felt that instant surge of complete attraction, so when I feel it, I know it must mean something special. I've obviously felt instant attraction to someone; where you think someone is gorgeous and you wouldn't mind getting to know them better. But some sparks, rare ones, are different. You feel that, but on a whole other level. Its like your finger tips burn for just one touch, your eyes are glued and your heart is pulsating ten times faster than the norm.... When I felt that connection, time stopped and movement stopped all in one... Then reality comes rushing back to you and you wonder insecurely if they feel it too; and you wonder what the hell you should do.... What would you? If you felt that, would you fight for it, regarding all consequences? Or would you try to forget and always wonder, what if???

Happy Valentines Day Bloggers!

First off, Happy Valentines Day. Ah - love is in the air. Couples everywhere seem to be holding hands and doing various other forms of serious PDA. As I flick through the channels on the radio, it appears that all of the hosts seem to be talking about the same thing.

I myself, have decided to love myself today and cleanse my inner being. Have you ever noticed what an effect your dirty room can have on your life? It can leave you feeling heavy and miserable.

My room is not the problem. My cupboards are. I have clothes that I have owned for over fourteen years laying dormant somewhere at the back of my cupboards! So today, while my boyfriend grinds away at work, I will grind away in my cupboards.

Not only will it help me get rid of a whole stack of clothing useless to me now, it will also give me a limited amount of extra spending money while I'm unemployed!

Lately, my mind has been practically exploding with Italian. As a major part of my new novel, I've had to crack out an Italian dictionary. The other night at Mario's I managed to have an entire (staggering) conversation in Italian with the owner!

I have written twenty one pages of complete and utter brilliance so far. Unfortunately I tire quickly from writing as I am kept cooped up in my repulsively hot room, behind an unmovable, large computer. I so desperately wish that I had a macbook / netbook to pack in a bag and take around with me, just for a change in scenery. Its amazing how much that can help.

I would absolutely adore carrying my laptop into Mugg & Bean, setting it up and ordering coffee after coffee as I type away...

I have managed to break away from the house once or twice though, I must admit. On Friday I went surfing with Michael and I was so proud and impressed with myself. It was the first time that I noticed a real improvement in my surfing. I rode down the face of the wave, staying up for longer than I ever have before and feeling a hell of a lot more confident than I ever have before for some unknown reason.

The most amazing alteration I noticed was when Michael told me to try catch a left, and I did!! Usually, when I ride a left wave, I end up going right anyway with or without me trying to. Its just my natural way. Yet on Friday, I concentrated and tried harder than I ever have and suddenly realized half way through that I had turned left and was riding down the face of the wave!

There is still a lot of room for improvement but for now I'm overjoyed with my progress!

Knysna is such a shit-hole. I apologize for my use of language here, but there is really no other way to put it! On Saturday Jobi threw a farewell braai at Buffs because he's heading back to Australia today. Having just finished a surf, there was no time to change or attempt to neaten up. We had a great night and a good party, then decided to check out the vibe at Swing Cafe. I arrived with no make-up on and a baggy grey t-shirt and jeans. I also had a shiny red nose and pink cheeks thanks to catching a little bit too much sun earlier in the day.

Over three people came up to me asking me if I was

A) alright?

B) drunk?

Clearly none of them had ever seen me looking outrageously natural before. Some of them even rudely commented how 'terrible' I looked! And yes, I am referring to you, Matthew Evans! Thank you very much!

Its amazing how people start to think that the classy, tight fitting clothing, perfectly flattened and clean hair and flawless makeup is who a person is, in this town.

Over the weekend I have actually been contemplating whether I should start wearing minimum to no makeup from now on. As a newly reformed 'surfer girl,' makeup just gets in the way anyway!

In latest news, it absolutely astounds me how someone close to entering their thirties can be so immature!!! Funie and I saw his ex at Buffs on Sunday and lets just say, she was less than friendly to me. I went as far as saying hello and asking how she was and she didn't even turn to face me....

A few weeks ago, she was fine with me. We spoke and she was very friendly and accepting. Yet now that she knows she doesn't stand a chance with Funie anymore and that I won in the strange situation the three of us found ourselves entangled in; she won't even look at me! I realize now that the whole time she was being polite to me was all fake, to show Funie that she was the bigger person. Now her true colors come out. It is her own fault though, which is something I wish she'd realize. She messed Funie around like he was a toy.

HAPPY THOUGHTS, HAPPY THOUGHTS.....! I can't help getting cross. There is no reason for her to be unfriendly to me. She makes out as though I came into her life just to destroy it. I have nothing to do with her. Of all people I am the last person she should be mad at! She doesn't even know me! It really does baffle me how some people's minds work.

I never wanted to hurt anyone. I didn't even know I was going to!

I had no idea he had an ex girlfriend that was still in the picture when we got together on Christmas day! - Just thought I'd put my side of the story out there!

Either way, Happy Valentines Day bloggers. Hope you all get spoiled rotten.

A Big Mistake

I thought that my job interview had gone well. I couldn't have made it more clear how equally perfect this job was for me and how perfect I was for the job. I knew that this position would lead me to true happiness. I didn't care that the salary was less than I had imagined and that I would have to work weekends. I knew that I would be passionate about this job through all of its ups and downs and it was the first time I felt like I really knew where I belonged. Yet they called me today to inform me that the gave the position to someone else.

As soon as they wished me luck for my job search and I said goodbye, I hung up and began to cry. I felt helpless. I was so sure that I was going to get this job.

My mom and grandmother told me not to worry. They said that it obviously wasn't meant to be and said that something better will come along. Yet they aren't the one's broke and bored out of their minds each and every day! I'm grasping onto my minuscule amount of cash laying dormant in my bank account with dear life.

They have made a mistake. That's all I can say. No one could have been happier and better at this job than me.

Unemployment

Sitting here in my room, hovering my fingers over the keyboard. Its a wet and dreary day, it should also be the second day of my new job at Easy Holidays. Alas, I decided against telemarketing. After accepting the job offer, I realized that there would be no basic salary. It was all commission based. It just seemed like too big a risk for me to take.

So I raise my mug filled to the brim with creamy, sweet coffee to all of you that, like me, are unemployed.

At first it was great to be able to spend my days lazing around my house, writing furiously into my computer, as I've been able to start a new novel. Now though, the money in my bank account is running out. I have about R500 to my name to last me through until I eventually find a job, then I still have to survive another month of working before getting my first pay check!

Its not like I haven't been searching for a job. I have had two job offers. One offer I was quite excited about. I got offered a job to be a Personal Trainer (one step up from Curves...) but just like Easy Holidays, its all based around commission. I need a monthly salary. Especially now that Funie and I are practically living together. I haven't slept at home in a month.

I adore sleeping over at Funie's house. Every morning he wakes me up in the most amazing way. He cuddles me close and kisses my neck, whispering 'good morning my angel' to me. Then every morning he adds something different after that. My two favorite one's were: 'Your the most beautiful girl in the world. If I had to choose anyone to be here with right now, it would be you...' and 'You make everything worth it.'

We've shared even more amazing memories since I last wrote. His brother Jaco, lent us his S.U.P this past Sunday, its a surf board that's about triple the size of me! We paddled out, me lying in front and him at the back. We caught some amazing waves, we rode down the face of the waves and stayed up for ages! It was so much fun and we had some funny wipe outs too.

We rode one waves for so long that when I finally lost balance and toppled over from excitement, we'd gone right over the reef and I got my first surfing injury. I kicked the reef with my feet, tore all the skin off my toes and sliced the top of my foot.

Was wondering when I was going to get my first surf injury!

Funie and I have also just celebrated our one month anniversary together! Time flies!

Back to the reason I am writing...

I also feel extra pressure now as my grandmother from the UK is down for a visit. I hate feeling like a failure. I want to show her that I am doing well for myself, but instead I'm an unemployed, beach bum to her. I feel like she is constantly judging me. My cousin, Jessica King, is her favorite grandchild and she makes it blatantly obvious. All she talks about is Jess. I tell myself each and every time that she comes down to visit that she will see I'm doing well for myself. I want her to be proud of me... Yet each and every time she comes down I muck something up and all she see's is a failure.

Last night Funie and I went out for dinner at Bosun's. I flicked through a copy of the Actions Ads and my heart literally did a double flip when I saw Wordsworth Books was advertising a vacancy for a full-time sales assistant.

I love literature. A book store sales assistant would be the perfect job for me. I went in and handed in my CV, I have a job interview at 2pm this afternoon. They gave me a wad of forms to fill in, in the meantime. Wow! They ask some pretty intense questions! Such as if I'm a refugee, if I have ever been convicted of a criminal offense and if I am willing to go on a lie detector!?!?!

2011 hasn't been a better year than the last just yet. A tragedy happened. My friends father, Dave Howarth, passed away on the 2nd of Feb. He was also my parents best friend and like a second father to me. He has been suffering from lung cancer, so everyone knew that it was coming. Unfortunately, I don't think anyone could prepare themselves for something like that. I am so proud of his daughter, Rachel, though. She has been so strong and amazing. I wouldn't be able to be so strong. At the funeral they played a recorded version of Dave singing 'Blackbird.' It tingled a couple of heart strings. Not wanting to cry in front of the family, I bolted outside and the tears gushed out. I couldn't stay there. As I walked back to my car, running away from the pain and heartbreak, a noticed a rainbow hanging perfectly over the building. It was a magical moment.

All we can hope for is 2011 improving. 2010 was bad enough, we need a break now. 2011 needs to be a better year.

Please.

... Wish me luck for my job interview!