Happiness is a choice... and I'm making it.

This past weekend was my last weekend of pure indulgences (pringles, white lindt chocolate balls, a massive tub of super rich magnum ice cream and red wine all turmoil-ed into season 4 of Pretty Little Liars and an episode of The Bachelor, then concocted into a fountain of tears and self-pity... Dammit.).

My overall plan was that on Saturday morning (after shaking off my first hangover of the catastrophic weekend,) I was going for a run..  I was going to ignore the dreaded big 'M' in the sky and the alluring smell of Big Macs (which is one thing I actually did do! Huraah!)
Instead I was planning on heading to the supermarket and stocking up on salad goodies, bananas, brown rice and green tea.

I also decided I was going to try desperately hard to stay off of the coffee too... but lets be realistic here..... A box of delicious Nescaffe sachets may just have found their way into my trolley............... It's my guilty little pleasure OK! 

I'll just drink it in moderation...

(Now, on Monday morning at 9am I am only one coffee in.. so there appears to be progress!)

On Friday, I was in an absolute tizz and I am sorry about that. 

I was truly miserable and feeling like curling into a ball under my blanket and staying in all weekend with The Bachelor on repeat and my cats nuzzling into my neck.

What happened was that Friday was the absolute hardest day of my life. Not only did I have to say goodbye to my best friends who packed up their lives and moved off to the big city.... but two guys in army suits and scars covering their entire faces walked into the gallery I work at with batons under their sleeves. It was the scariest moment of my life - and I've been really jumpy and on edge ever since.
Even last night (Sunday,) I woke up gasping for air and screaming. Night terrors of being attacked. I felt like I couldn't breath, I couldn't see and I was completely petrified.
I'm feeling alone and nervous - lonely and heart-sore. 

Snapping out of the funk wasn't easy and although I wanted to be back on my feet on Saturday morning, it took me the whole weekend to finally put my chin up - luckily I soon realized that hiding away from the world and shutting everyone out when I actually need them the most is the stupidest idea I've ever had.
Whenever a bad thought or image comes into my head, I'm going to head out and take a breath of fresh air. I'm going to do something, anything, that I love.

I need a lifestyle change. A big one.

Without my constant partying now and taking my shitty situations out on my poor body and its organs, I'm going to be OK.

No more late nights and disastrously foggy memories.

Time to become properly acquainted with my Macbook and churn out this second novel of mine that I've been working on.

I'm going to write.
Blog.
Surf.
Jog.
Paint.
Walk my dogs.
Bond with my family.
Replace wine with tea and parties with family nights in.
Cook.
Clean.
Re-decorate.
Get my journalism degree.
Enter writing competitions.
Play the guitar.
Sing.
Write lyrics.
Watch the sunrise.
Watch the sunset.
Swim in the lagoon.
Stare at the clouds.
Look at the stars.
Tell my friends how much they mean to me.
Tell my family how much I love them.
Focus on my blessings and do daily acts of kindness for others.
Finally learn how to make my mums incredible mac and cheese.
Laugh.
Smile.
Live and love.

Feed my body positive energy, happy thoughts and healthy foods.

(even though breakfast this morning was a ginormous bowl of cocopops........ a girls gotta start somewhere, right?)

I'm going to work on my travel dreams.
Finally get to Bali to surf the waves, lie in the sand and get sun-kissed skin from baking in the sun.

I want to focus on rebuilding myself - to become the person that I know I can be. The person that is me but is hidden beneath layers of facets and masks I put on because of who other people think I am. The people who don't believe in change. 

This is my period of self-growth and self-learning.
Self-understanding. 

I feel enlightened and ready. 

It is the time for change. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'm going to never touch Merlot again. I'll still meet friends out for a few beers every now and then (when I'm ready to reenter that part of my life...) but I just realized how only I have the power to change my life.

Happiness is a choice... and I'm making it.

Everything Is Going To Be OK

Today is one of the hardest days of my life. 

I think that I have cried every tear drop that I have in me. Have you ever felt that way? 

Like literally there is nothing else left in you???

With a heavy heart, I took a drive this morning, trying to calm myself down. 

 That's when I saw this: 

 

If that's not a sign then I don't know what is....

So this weekend - I plan on buying an enormous tub of ice cream.... refusing to get out of my hoodie and sweat pants, hogging the fire place, reading a feel-good book, painting my nails coral, watching The Bachelor and Say Yes to the Dress (because I'm a female and I dig that shit,) and probably having a good cry again and again until I feel better. 

I guess sometimes that's needed. 

I hope you have a more fun-infested weekend than me.

Thursdays Trio of Blessings

Blessing One:

6 months ago on this day, my family was blessed with the most incredible gift. 

Jenson Charles Preston Wright. 

My nephew. 

The happiest, rosy-cheeked baby I have ever seen.

My sole duty as an Auntie is to spoil the nonsense out of him. Which I cordially did quite happily.

I bought him a little blue bunny. Do you know how challenging it is to find a bloody teddy bear that isn't a safety hazard for a 6 month old baby!? The teddy cannot have eyes.... not sewn on eyes anyway. 

At 6 months, babies start pulling and grabbing anything that they can get their hands on - so teddies with eyes that can come off is a big no-no. 

I finally found this adorable blue bunny rabbit though.

I also pimped him out with some new baby fashion. 

The army-print hoodie is so warm and snuggly - which is perfect for winter here in South Africa right now. Plus lets face it, he's going to look too cute in it, right!?

The second item I got him was the long sleeved, red-checkered baby-grow. When I saw it, my heart just melted. It's even got a collar... too cute!!!! 

Amazing how when you get a nephew / niece or your own baby, suddenly you're more excited to shop for them than you are for yourself!!

So... anyway, here's to my little nephew. 

Happy 6 months birthday little man xxx

Blessing Two:

A typewriter is something that has been on my wishlist for years. 

What writer wouldn't want one???

I have this big dream to one day open up a 'Writers Cafe,' and the decor will be old wooden tables, an adornment of typewriters, black and white photographs of classic cars and a record player playing crackly jazz tunes.  One day....

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams!"

Blessing Three: 

While on the topic of dreams... I'm fairly certain that by now, you all know that writing is my biggest passion. It is what drives my every waking and sleeping moment. I breathe writing. My blood is ink. I may not write the worlds most jaw-dropping work - but I write what I feel, what I imagine and what I believe in. My novels may be simple chick-lit - quick, feel-good rom-coms of the literature world... but for me, that's what I want to do. 

I also want to be a journalist. With every speck of hope I have in me - I just want my work published. Novels, articles, news, reviews, recipes . . .  that is my driving force in life. 

Currently, I am three assignments away from finishing up an online course in journalism. The course itself has been fun - but I've always dreamed of going to university - experiencing the student lifestyle. Listening intently to a tutor. Discussing writing and the world of all forms of art with other students - meeting people who like me, have such a deep-rooted passion for words and books. 

I finally have an opportunity. 

 

My Auntie told me about this competition a few days ago - and ever since, my brain has not stopped working in overdrive. 

Basically, the competition is about appreciating the beauty and art-form of a hand-written letter. You need to write something that is addressed to a fictional character - with the intention of being opened far later than expected and requires context for the year in which it is written. 

The prize???? 

A 3 year scholarship to any accredited university of South Africa to study a degree of your choice. Includes fees and textbooks, excludes residence fees, transport and sundry costs.   

If I win - my degree of choice would of course be something to do with the writing world. Where - well, I'd have to see. I never really looked into any universities in the past besides Rhodes University in Grahamstown because of the fact that it is so artsy. 

Alas, after realizing that university just wasn't a plausible option for me (basically, I couldn't afford it,) I stopped getting my hopes up for it. 

So... this could be my chance. If there is even the slimmest chance, I'm going to take it - and if someone else wins, well then, I'd be thrilled for them! It's an amazing opportunity and I wish anyone that enters all the luck in the world.

June Shoes of the Month

Red used to be the one colour that I couldn't stand. It's odd because it is also the one colour that my mother kept on begging me to wear back in the day - telling me it looked so good on me.
I never agreed.

I can't really describe it. To me, red is just such a harsh and bold colour and I tend to lean more towards earthy shades. Browns, greens, oranges and of course I love my black and whites.

Lately though, red has started to spark a bit more of an interest in me.

They say that if you put a beautiful woman in a white dress and send her strutting down the street, she'll not turn nearly as many heads as if you put the same beautiful woman in a red dress and walked her down the same street.

Red is striking. It oozes self-confidence and sex appeal. Which, as a singleton of today's world.. you need, right?

Today I am wearing these sparkly pumps. I'm also wearing a red button up shirt. Who would have guessed?
I love absolutely everything about these new pumps of mine. The bow. The sparkle. Even the colour.
It isn't a bright red - I'd say it is leaning more towards the maroon side, which is one of my favoruite colours.
It's deep and it's dark and over all the style is completely me.

These shoes are available at Mr. Price for an absolute bargain of under R 100.00 in South Africa.

As many of my regular readers know by now, I am trying to grow my shoe collection by buying one pair of shoes every month - but, at the end of the day, I'm always happier barefoot... especially now with my new tattoo. 

Have a fabulous week ahead stunning people.

I may go a bit quiet over the next while or so. I have a fair bit on my plate. I'm just about to finish my university degree and qualify as a journalist - finally! I'm also flying through writing my second novel, which I'm dedicating every waking and breathing second to. On top of all that, two of my dearest friends will be leaving little old Knysna this week... for good. It's going to be painful to bid them farwell. Goodbyes are never easy.

There's one quote that I'm trying to keep in mind here:

"New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings."

I'm very happy for them to be spreading their wings and venturing out into the world and at the end of the day, it doesn't matter how far apart you are from your loved ones, true friendships never die.

May the Hangover be with You....

Good God......why am I up so early? It's Saturday morning, in the middle of an icy winter and I literally had to defrost my hands this morning. Have you ever been so cold that typing becomes painful?! To top it all off, my head is banging...

Let's compile the facts:

• Yesterday was Friday.
• There was a farewell party.
• There was also a live band... with saxophones, flutes, keyboards and incredible vocals.
• Unlimited shots.
• A mixture of brandy, vodka, ciders and wine.
• Breaking it down on the dance floor.
• An unexpected mad hatters party.... again. In someones mansion. No lies. AND... Somehow, someone managed to put permanent red lipstick on me and now I have these really odd bright red lips that I can't get rid of!
• 2am drunken texting and video calls.... I need a better password on my phone. One I can't spell when intoxicated. Any suggestions????
• A God awful alarm clock jolting me out of my peaceful slumber (ok I lie... I passed the F out when I finally hit the bed!!!) at some unruly hour this morning.

Work. That's why I am up.

Work I tell you.
On a Saturday.
With a mean ass hangover. 

Here's what we got up to last night 

(pre-warning.. the majority of the below photographs are horrendous)

How was your Friday?? Are any of you joining me on the hangover train this morning?? 

If so, how do you intend on recovering?? 

As for me - I have the kettle on the boil. I'm making a strongest cup of coffee I think is humanly possible - and then I am going to shove cake in my face. This cake in fact:

If that isn't a hangover cure... then I don't know what is.

Then, at some point in my life... I should PROBABLY go on a detox. 

But considering it is Saturday..... I may just be inclined to open up another bottle of red and share it with some good friends. 

Maybe even go horse-riding. 

Gate crash a mansion... 

Do sun dance. It's like a rain dance, but praying for sun and warmth... because without it... I may just die. 

Here's to being barefoot and crazy with weekend madness with all your chums. 

Have a goodie beautiful people xxxx

Cherry Blossoms

Fathers Day was this past weekend and I decided to do something particularly special for my good old papa bear. 

Cherry blossoms symbolize mortality. 

Over a year ago, my dad became very sick. He has been suffering with Tuberculosis, osteoporosis and emphysema not to mention the black spots on his lungs that he is refusing to get checked out (and to top it all of he still smokes!). 

With my dad being as sick as he is and giving us all regular scares with his health, I thought that cherry blossoms would be quite fitting... for more reasons than one. 

I have been thinking about getting this tattoo for him since he first became ill.

Not only do cherry blossoms symbolize mortality, but they also symbolize how beautiful life is. 

These Chinese flowers bloom for 1 day and within those 24 hrs they become the most stunning flower; making the most of the short time they have in this world.

To me, that is exactly what my dad does. 

He is the most amazing man I know. He is beyond strong, stubborn as all hell and probably the funniest guy I have ever met. 

His determination and love for life is beyond admirable. 

So although my father was less than impressed with the new addition to my body, it was for him. 

My dad is my everything. 

My family, my love, my life.

I look up to him. I respect him.

I am proud to be his daughter. 

(please note that from all of the tats that I have... the foot is by far the most painful!!! But that being said, the pain is temporary... the tattoo is forever):

 This is how my tattoo parlor visitation went, it's hilarious because it is like watching a video... watching the pain slowly creep up!

 

 Oooo... felt that dude.

It was so worth it in the end. I absolutely love my new ink.

I never thought I'd get a tattoo with color in it purely because what happens if you get sick of the color? Or want to wear something with it that clashes with the color!? I still have no idea how I'll face that debacle but for now, it's busy healing up and I'm in love with it.

It is and probably always will be strange to know that this body art is with you for the rest of your life. While I was busy getting it done I was chatting to the artist about it and he actually had some amazing points to make.
People always say how permanent tattoos are and that they are scared of them but the truth is that tattoo's are the most temporary form of art! Once we pass on. that tattoo will be gone with us. It isn't like the Mona Lisa. You can't restore it thousands of years later or store away safely.

I've always lived with one simple thing in mind... your body is your canvas. It is an expression of who you are. Tattoos should be about the things that are the most important to you and your life - judgmental people who don't agree with them don't matter. It isn't for them. It is for you.

Be different. Be you. 

Never let someone else in life fan out your flame. Dance proudly on your short wick of life - vibrant and bright!

Have you guys got tattoos or are you planning to get any?

I'd love to hear what they mean to you. 

Thursday's Trio of Blessings

Where are the weeks going? I can hardly believe that we are now halfway through the year. Is it just me or is time just going too fast? So much has happened in my life that I wish I could just step back and process it all; but time and life stops for no one. You just have to keep carrying on. 

Today is another freezing day, grey and stormy with trickles of rain running down my windowpane. I haven’t slept since 3am. By 4am I finally kicked off the blankets and padded downstairs to boil the kettle. With the storm being so loud it was impossible to drift back off to sleep - so instead I put on Bones season 8. I am a few episodes away from finishing the season - which is excellent by the way. 

While writing this Thursday’s Trio of Blessings I honestly wasn’t sure if it was hard or easy to choose the three main points to mention. I’ve decided that to focus blessings on purely one day is way too hard. Instead I’m going to focus on three blessings that have happened throughout the course of the week from one Thursday to another. 

So here we go, another Jade’s Thursday’s Trio of Blessings posts:

Blessing One:

Walk With Me, my very first novel, has now started to be distributed into the homes of my friends and family. Copies have been shipped off all over the globe. 

It’s an intensely scary feeling knowing that your work is suddenly out there, breathing its own life. After all these years, I have finally kicked it from the proverbial nest and am letting it build it’s wings and fly as it falls into the hands of the readers. 

Already I have had the most wonderful feedback. 

I guess the most frightening part about writing a book is knowing that it obviously won’t be every persons cup of tea. My book has fallen into the hands of equal amounts of men and women which is great although I do feel that the men won’t thoroughly enjoy the chick-lit type of writing that I am automatically drawn more towards. 

I’ve asked each person to write a small review on the book once they have finished it - that’s probably the most exciting part. I’ve asked them to be open with me and tell me the good, the bad and the ugly about it. How else do you grow and learn? Constructive criticism is so helpful to us writers out there. 

In the batch of books I currently have printed I have 7 copies that are still available. 

Should any of you wish to make an order - please see below the details:

Place your order by either commenting below or preferably popping me an email as I will need a postal address to send the book to you. 

The book is R200.00 - depending on where you are in the world you can convert it into your specific currency from ZAR (South African currency).

Once I have your postal address I will request quotes to courier the book to you and quote you thereafter. 

Payment will obviously have to be done via EFT and once it reflects, the book will start its journey to you!! 

If you are a book reviewer - I would love a link to your website and would love to get in touch with you about reviewing my book. 

OK so with that bit of writers business out of the way… here is…

Blessing Two:

As I am sure the entire world knows by now, the FIFA world cup has begun and the festivities are ginormous! 

I have been having the absolute best time with my very best friends cheering and watching the matches, cooking dinners and getting merry on red wine in front of the crackling fire place. 

As of next week I won’t be seeing much of these guys anymore - as there will be a huge physical distance between us. We will all be in different cities - so we are currently just enjoying the last few days of our time all together. 

These people in these photographs are the most special and wonderful people I know. They have the warmest and kindest hearts and are just the most precious people in the world to me. 

It is so important to acknowledge how blessed you are to have the friends you have in your life. 

Blessing Three:

I just realized that it is one week until pay day - thank GOD. 

What were your blessings this week? 

Have a fabulous day lovely readers. 

Jadie's 15 Minute Meal | Steak and Humas Tortilla's Infused With Spicy Jalapeno's and Other Crunchy Greens

This is such a wonderful meal whether cooking just for yourself or for a dinner party

It is literally effortless - quick (15 mins) and probably one of the tastiest yet simplest dishes I know. 

Here are the ingredients that you will need in order to make this dish: 

• Tortilla Wraps
• Steak
• Light Soya Sauce 
• Terriyaki Sauce
• Rice Wine Vinegar
• Cucumber (finely sliced)
• Spring Onions (finely sliced)
• Jalapeno Chillies (Diced)
• Humus

 Step One:

 Combine your light soya sauce, terriyaki sauce and rice wine vinegar into a bowl. Cut your steaks into strips and coat them in this marinade for as long as possible. 

It is hard to say how much of each sauce you need as it completely depends on how many people you're cooking for etc. Just make the marinade to your liking - I never measure things if I can help it anyway! I just lug sauces and spices into my dishes and hope for the best! It makes it interesting and fun.  

 Step Two:

Thinly slice your cucumbers and spring onions. Dice your jalapenos. Set these ingredients aside to put onto your tortilla wrap later.

  Step Three:

 Spread humus onto your tortilla wrap with the back of a large spoon. Using the back of the spoon makes it easier to spread out. 

Once the humus is on, scatter on the cucumber and spring onion sticks in the middle of the wrap and sprinkle the diced jalapenos on top.

*Optional: Should you wish the warm up your tortilla before hand then place it in a large, dry pan on low heat for one minute on each side. 

  Step Four:

Cook your steak to your liking - this should take no more than five minutes.

  Step Five:

 Place a few strips of steak on top of the greens in the middle of your tortilla, roll your wrap up making sure to tightly tuck one end of the wrap into the middle. 

There you have it. The perfect recipe when cooking for one, when cooking for a dinner party; when cooking for any occasion. 

Enjoy it.