How To Ask Your Girlfriends Dad If You Can Marry Her

How old school are your folks? Some women should seriously come with a big red flashing caution sign: 
ENTER AT OWN RISK.

I just so happen to be one of those lucky ladies.

Yip. It’s literally like I’m living in a bloody 1800’s novel – the man who wishes to make me his wife must seek the approval of my father first.

So, to help all of you other ladies out there who could compete for World’s Most Ridiculously Overprotective Father – I’ve put together a step by step tutorial on how your man can win over your dad (that’s one massive hurdle out the way!) and then get the balls to pop the question to you!

• Step 1: Bring a really nice bottle of whiskey along to a dinner with her folks.
• Step 2: Warm up her parents good spirits with a hilarious round of charades (claim to have never played before – then suddenly kick everyone’s ass!)
• Step 3: Devour all food given to you and gush about how great it was.
• Step 4: Demolish about 5 glasses goblets of wine, a tumbler filled with scotch and a bottle and a half of whiskey.
• Step 5: Begin to slur amidst mindless rambles with girlfriends father (mother has mysteriously disappeared to bedroom after her 16^th glass of wine).
• Step 6: Casually blurt out mid conversation, “I’d like to marry your daughter!” Sway in your seat while trying to focus on one of the two visions of said father before you . . . and brace yourself for the cold sweat and silence that follows.
• Step 7: Once the initial shock is over there are three ways that this can go.

a. A complete and utter disaster. A straight out NO.

b. Really well. He accepts your offer (and you start to feel like he’s actually delighted about pawning off his daughter to be someone else’s problem).

c. He considers your offer – but plans on watching you squirm and grovel just a little bit more by demanding to have a boys day out under more sober circumstances. Basically, he wants to pre-warn you about all of the skeletons hiding in your girlfriend closet so that you know exactly what you’re getting yourself into.  

• Step 8: If C, begin the squirming and apologizing, trying to say, “it was said in jest! It’s just because I just love her so so much!!” … AHEM…. Suck up. Father at this stage takes slight pity on you and tells you that he knows you will be great and he practically offers his blessing to you on a platter but still wants to take you out for a chat before popping the question to his daughter – the reasons for this chat will forever be unknown to us women.
• Step 9: With a massive sigh of relief, shake his hand and then continue with the alcohol induced night solely based on marriage discussions from this point on. Let the father of your soon to be bride tell you all of his stories (these will be good and bad,) of proposing and marriage. Finish the night off with a debate about the nitty gritty of prenups and so on.
• Step 10: Wake up with a ROARING hangover and smelling like a brewery – roll over in bed and look worriedly into your girlfriends eyes and say, “Jade, I think your dad asked me to marry him last night!” 

A Recipe: The Veggie Juice

What you will need to create this delicious healthy juice:

A Juicer... (no brainer)

3/4 Swiss Chard Leaves

2 Celery Sticks

2 Carrots

2 Thumb Sized Pieces of Ginger (skin and all)

1 Beetroot (peeled and halved)

1 Quarter of Cucumber

1 Garlic Clove (peeled but whole)

1 Digustingly Handsome Boyfriend To Chuck Your Ingredients Into That Scary Looking Juicer That Let's Face It.. Could Munch Your Fingers Off! -------->

Half a Lemon (no skin)

Slowly start shoving these fresh ingredients into your juicer and watch the magic happen within seconds! I love juicing all my greens first and then adding in the beetroot and watching it change to a plum color. I'm strange.. I know. 

DIVINE I tell you.

Juicing it up in the mornings is such a healthy way to start your day. You'll be exploding with energy and vitamins - not to mention they are super tasty!

By juicing, you are able to get all of the nutrients from the veggies that are often lost in our alternate ways of cooking / eating them. 

This recipe is one that my handsome bearded fellow created himself  - and I do have to pre-warn you that the garlic is POTENT (yes, even just one clove!!) so if you're not too much of a garlic fiend like us or if you have an important date scheduled then maybe cut the garlic content down or leave it out entirely. It's up to you!

BUT - Garlic has some great benefits too that you should be made aware of before worrying about your breath when having a snog instead. 

For example: 

Garlic contains Vitamin B6 which has been proven to strengthen the immune system. 

Vitamin B6 also helps if you suffer from mood swings. 

Vitamin B6 has many cancer fighting capabilities and so garlic is well known as a cancer preventative.  

This specific juice is super strong - but super scrumptious and bursting with all sorts of flavor. 

Make your drink look pretty by adding the final touches of a leafy celery stick (just as you would in a Bloody Mary...) which I love because then I can munch on the stick while working my way through the juice. 

Make it look even more cocktail-hour-ish with a little veggie wedge on the side. We used a tomato slice for this image but you could use absolutely anything.

There you have it - the best way to start your mornings! Now drink up and enjoy!

October Favourites

My Favorite Hairstyle: 

'Ou’Naturel!'

Many of my regular readers will be well aware of my catastrophic hair situation. I have bleached it, cut it, shaved it, mutilated it - basically, how I am not bald is beyond me. 

After cutting all of my hair off last year and sporting a spiky pixie cut for an excruciatingly painful long time, my hair has finally touched my collar-bones. That's right - it's growing back!! I have vowed never to chop it again - barring the odd necessary trim to take away dead-ends and what not. 

So now that the length is finally getting to a more comfortable stage, I've started to let it dry naturally without brushing it. No towels or hair-dryers. Especially no GHD! Anything to make it grow faster! 

Turns out, after chopping off my long locks, I've gone properly curly!!!! It's so weird! 

I'm absolutely LOVING the new, completely natural curls! 

My Favorite Hair COLOR: 

'OMBRE'

Now that you know that my hair has finally started to reach a reasonable length - I can share with you one of my biggest materialistic wants for the past year! Ombre hair. 

I know - it's not like me to care about hair color, nails, products or brands..... but I just adore the ombre look in hair! So I was waiting impatiently, measuring my hair growth on a weekly basis until it finally got to the length where I could pull off the ombre look! 

I got this done a week ago and am absolutely loving it. The best part is that it looks so natural too - like I just spend my life at the beach frolicking the ocean and letting the sun bleach it.. not dye. I know that's not true, but I like to pretend :) 

October's Favorite Recipe: 

'Juiced Veggies'

Look out for this delicious healthy recipe coming up November...

Jade's Sketch Book Favorites: 

I like to think I'm a creative soul. 

Granted, I may not be the most talented with an HB pencil but I enjoy scribbling down a thing or two once in a while. 

The above to quick works were just silly little things I put together while really bored in the art gallery - it's quiet season at the moment so there's really not much going on. It's a great thing to work in such a beautiful and creative environment though. 

Have I mentioned lately just how much I love my job???

'Jam' Moments 

(yeah... I actually did it. I put Jade and Sam together in one name (you know, like Brangelina...) and it became 'Jam.' Classic!): 

My Sam... golly I adore that man. 

He is gentle and kind and funny and a complete and utter goofball just like me.

You know when you just KNOW?? 

Well, I've never just 'KNOWN' before... it just feels right. 

It feels like home. 

He's who I've been waiting for my whole life. 

He's the reason all those scary big life-decisions were made... decisions that had I chosen different, I may never have met him. 

I've taken you through this before, but I will do it again. 

I met Sam a DAY after I was supposed to have moved up to the big concrete jungle called The Big City. 

Something just told me no. I couldn't go. 

Then, the day I did meet this incredibly handsome bearded fellow, there was such a crazy storm that I nearly didn't attend the birthday party I was supposed to go to. 

I was in the bath, about to text my friend, the birthday boy, my apologies.. it just seemed silly driving an hour through a storm to go to a birthday party where there'd be booze and fun - but then I'd have to drive all the way back through the storm. It just seemed dangerous. 

But.... as my fingers were sadly typing that I would be unable to attend... I felt this huge whoosh of urgency and clarity. 

I had to go.

I just had to.

Then I met Sam... waving at me like a dork from across the bar... 

All of my choices led me to him, without me even knowing it - and he is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

We bring the best out in each other. 

He knows about ALL of my shit and me about his. We've been nothing but honest and open with one another and ... 

GOD!!! I'm rambling.

I'll hush now...

If you hadn't already rushed for your vomit bucket - I salute you! 

We've been up to so many fun adventures in the last month and a bit... making the most of every little moment with one another - and we just keep on falling more and more in love!!! 

We've gone surfing in Vic Bay and Wilderness - he's even told me he's really impressed with my surfing capability, although I have a long way to go before I'll be ready to surf in Bali next year.

BUT. we ARE jetting off to Bali together next year and he has taken me under his wing and has promised to train me up in surfing so that I can enjoy surfing Bali to the fullest. 

He's also going to be teaching me Karate! I literally have the coolest boyfriend on the planet. I feel like I'm twelve-years-old all over again - completely in love and in lust. 

We've also been adventuring on motorbike trips and swims through gorges and up waterfalls. Mushroom picking and frolicking happily along on beaches and in bars. 

Loved up and ready to pop with happiness.

Family Fun: 

'The Mother-Daughter Stretch'

After a lot of surfing and jogging and trying desperately hard to work on my bikini bod for the approaching Summer here in South Africa - I started to feel pretty stiff. 

Who knew my mother was so flexible????

She'd probably die if she knew I said that..... bwahahaha.

Sorry mum!

After a few glasses of vino and listening to my constant complaints about all my aches and pains... she decided it was time to stretch me out.

I almost died.

Dad took photographs... 

I think he almost died too. 

From laughter.

Flower Power: 

I got this beautiful arrangement as a gift for Sam's mum when she invited us for the most incredible meal. She is such an amazing cook! 

I got these flowers from Woolworths and to be honest, I liked them the most because of the brown vintage blanket they were wrapped in. 

I just kinda dig that kinda shit. 

Friendies: 

How can you forget them!?

As always, I've had my special time with my best mate in the world. My Lucy-Loo. 

He's mentioned that he's never seen me so happy and that I am practically glowing - he's not wrong. 

Blush. 

 We've had some fun drinks and barbecue's together but it's been a pretty quiet month if I'm honest.

I definitely haven't been as much of a social butterfly as last month. 

October's Favorite Blog: 

Where is Tara?

I've been loving having the time to be a part of the blogging world again - and to be honest, I really didn't know how many travel blogs were out there 'til recently. 

I know that this photo above isn't of me enjoying Tara's blog with a cup of coffee - I'm actually reading through Yoga Pant's here, but I liked the photo and the little feature of my favorite little girl, India, peeping over the top of the laptop.

As a new little feature for my 'Monthly Favorites' blog post, I am also going to start adding in a different blog each month that really stood out to me above all others. 

This month it's just gotta be Tara.

One of my Favorite Things to do... EVER: 

'Blanket Days'

Waking up in the mornings in my handsome bearded fellows warm and lovely arms, then enjoying a delicious cup of tea in bed together whispering and chattering about anything and everything together. 

Slowly waking up together, cozy and safe with a stunning view of the forest below us and the misted ocean way out in the distance. 

Nothing, I repeat, nothing beats that.

22 Jump Street | Movie Review

Why oh WHY are sequels to movies always so awful??? I cannot actually recall one film that busted out a follow up that was better than the first.

On Sunday last week, in my tragically hungover state (my dog died, so I got absolutely trollied at a 60th Hawaiian themed birthday party on Saturday night,) I finally dragged my ass out of bed and headed to the video store. 

I was so excited when I saw that this film was still available because I adored the first one. I liked it because it was just a little bit of everything all rolled into one. Action, comedy, drama and even a sugar-coated slice of romance. 

The film is based on the 1987 TV series called 21 Jump Street and follows two (really shitty) police officers oozing with ''Bro-mance'' who are assigned a case where they have to go undercover in high school. Their mission is to find the supplier of a new drug that's been released and arrest him.

It's the typical duo of an overweight nerd who hated high school the first time round and the muscular, no-brains jock that reveled in it. Together - they are legen-wait for it - dary.  

I laughed SO hard in the first film and gushed about how amazing the second one would be to my bearded fellow, getting him just as eager to give it a watch. 

It's about now that I should probably inform you of my impeccable track-record for choosing the absolute WORST movies. All the time. It's actually not even funny anymore. 

So, after downing two glasses of Southern Comfort and Lime to try and revive me to some form of life - we meandered back to his cozy little cabin where we plopped the movie into his playstation.

We ended up switching it off. We didn't even finish it. 

It was awful. 

Again, the duo are back in action as undercover cops - still chasing narcotics and suppliers. This time they get dunked into college after a student dies from taking another new drug on the scene. Their mission, once again, is to catch the supplier and stop the outbreak of the drug. 

It was beyond lame. 

I actually didn't find one part of this film remotely funny. 

I mean seriously, it was actually cringe-worthy what a flop it was. I think that the success of the first one led the team to try way to hard with the second film. They layered on the jokes, not one of them being any good. It was homophobic and odd - just a very, very strange film that I couldn't endure for more than an hour. 

Look, the cast, Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum, are great. 

They are both fantastic actors and both of them I really enjoy but the film-makers definitely rode this wave thinking that because of these two actors (flourishing with chemistry on-set together,) the movie would be an instant hit.

Well, it wasn't. 

It felt as though the actors were weighed down on the poor, identical story-line and nauseating attempted humor poured into every scene.

I am usually not one to do reviews on things I didn't really enjoy - whether it be a movie or a book, a place or a product. I prefer to focus solely on the good and recommend great things to you guys - it's one of the things I love most about blogging: being able to share fantastic things with you all and hearing your thoughts and feedback... but, every so often, I feel I need to pre-warn you about certain things that you really shouldn't bother wasting your time with. 

I know it will bite me in the ass one day. Hey, I'm a writer with a book out myself. I know there are going to be awful reviews out about my work one day too. Critics who hate it and make it known. It's never a nice feeling. You pour your heart and soul into something and dedicate your life to it only to have the finished product be ripped to shreds - I do feel awful about doing bad reviews - but you know what? It has to be done. 

Have you seen this film?

If so, what were your thoughts on it? 

Do you share my view - or did you see something else in it? 

Discussion time.... GO:

Wanderlust Life

Shoes are not important to me. 

Brands and products, polishes and accessories are merely materialistic objects to me. 

Handbags are meant to carry your shit. 

Cars are meant to get you from A to B. 

I couldn't care less if I had a Louis Vuitton bag slung across my shoulder or if my hands were gripped onto the wheel of an Audi R8. 

What is all that, anyway? 

No part of me is interested in it. 

I can barely pull off walking in heels as it is.

Nor can I claim to be any sort of classy or elegant. 

I snort when I laugh.... for one. 

Instead of crossing my legs I'll clamber onto the chair and sit atop my feet.

My hair is hardly ever brushed. 

If there isn't a hole or a stain in my clothing at any given time then pigs have flown.

The best part of all? 

I don't want to be fixed. 

I don't want to be transformed into some diamond loving princess with more make-up plastered on her face than fekking Michael Jackson.

What do I care about, then?

I care about experience. 

I care about that little booklet better known as a passport, filled to the brim with stamps and crinkled pages from my wanderlust life.

I care about the ocean; the waves, the sun and the majestic creatures that live beneath. 

That is why, I have decided, it is time for me to finally combat my fear and breathe under water. 

I am going to get my open waters, my padi.. my 'Whatever I Need To In Order To Find Peace and Joy Under The Salted Water I Love So Dearly,' for more than 60 seconds at a time. 

My new friend Tara over at: Where is Tara? has seriously made me so antsy to dive back into my world that was 2013. Travel. 

2013 brought about more countries than I can count. 

I am so blessed. 

I have only done travel posts on but a few of the jaw-dropping countries I was lucky enough to travel through just last year.

I care about travel. 

I care about boarding a plane and jetting off into unfamiliar places filled with divine new things. From culture and food to scenery and activities.

How could 2014 be so different??? 

I have been no where. 

I have done nothing. 

It feels as though a part of me, the biggest part, has been shoved into the back on a wardrobe to grow old and moldy. 

There's a gigantic weight resting on my soul. 

I feel crushed. 

Travel.

Travel. 

Travel. 

I need it so desperately. 

I want to add new stamps to my passport.

I want to experience new places. 

I want life. 

I want all that it has to offer. 

Screw the bloody 2010 bottle of red that everyone raves about. 

Screw the Gucci shades. 

Good riddance to the regular hair trims and nail touch-ups.

I am meant for something more. 

I know I am. 

I WANT OUT.

Does anyone else ever feel that way???

If so, how do you get through the inevitable day to day life we need to endure??