Fifty Shades of Freed by E L James | Book Review

Thank fuck it's over. 

I can (un)proudly say that I have completed the Fifty Shades Trilogy - and as quickly as I snapped the last book shut, all three of them swiftly landed in the 'Throw Away,' pile.

Look - they aren't HORRENDOUS. I suppose the story-line is kind of intriguing and all that but I just can't get over the repetitive 'cocking his head to one side,', 'oh my's!' and 'Holy Fuck's!' the pages are filled with.

It takes a lot to piss me off - but this will do it.

Reading about the life of a nymphomaniac is not as interesting as it may seem.

For those of you who may have been living under a rock for the last while and need a little updating on the whole Fifty Shades thing... the basic story-line is this:
SPOILER ALERT!!
Ana Steele stumbles helplessly (as she does,) into Christian Grey's office when she tries to help her best friend out by interviewing him for an article. Christian Grey is loaded - in more ways than one.... and if you know anything about this book and you didn't smirk at that then you have absolutely no humor at all. Just saying.
Anyway - yes, the guys some big shot, multi-billionaire that loves to dominate women. He used to have 'Subs' that would sign contracts with him and practically be his sexual slaves which is pretty much what he forced sweet little, innocent Ana into at first, But the girls got balls.... and he falls for it big time.
He likes the challenge she brings forward for him and so he changes his ways - insert knee-trembling 'awwwww' sounds here.
The two get married - get attacked, get pregnant, get attacked again.. there's kidnappings and guns, accusations and fights and drama, saucy ass sex scenes, safe-words, playrooms, butt-plugs and tears and snot etc etc etc.... It is a roller-coaster of mangled never ending events that makes you keep wondering what on earth happens next.
Got to hand it to E L James - she knows how to hook you one way or another.

I'll admit that the first book was pretty cool because the whole Fifty Shades phenomenon was so fresh and new - we'd never really read anything like it. Slowly but surely however, you realize all Christian Grey wants to do is fuck. Ana isn't much better - in between talking about her weird subconscious  and 'Inner bloody Goddess' and playing this sweet little innocent act, I just want to throttle her. 

Urgh. 

Hated it. 

Hated it, hated it, hated it. 

It's one of those really annoying books that really does have SOMETHING that hooks you though!!! Whether it be crazy psychopaths trying to murder Mr. Rich Sex Addict or sexually assaulting the God awful Anastasia Steele - E.L. James does sneakily know how to reel you in. Urgh. Urgh - and URGH. 

I don't know why I even bothered to read them if I'm honest - but once I've started something I HAVE to finish it. It's a really annoying trait of mine when it comes to reading a book. 

I'm still pretty interested and perhaps even slightly excited to see the first Fifty Shades film which gets released in February next year. What a hilarious film to watch for Valentine's Day. Bwahahaha. Sorry - I just cannot contain my twisted side.

Here's the trailer to Fifty Shades of Grey:

Spicy, right!?

Something tells me that with the right actors and director, this book may just be salvageable.

Have you read it or do you intend to? What were your thoughts? 

Will you be one of those people queuing at the cinema, dying to see HOW this could possibly be filmed without being classified as porn?

I know I will be - peer pressured I tell you. 

And to end this post - I thought I'd share a sneak peak as to what I will be starting to read now that E L James is out of my life:

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn. 

I am so excited to read this book before I see the film and I have read some pretty great reviews on it too. I'm in the mood for something a bit creepy and thrilling. 

Something with a bit of 'umph.'

Have any of you read this???? 

I'd love your thoughts and opinions. 

Fifty Shades Darker - Book Review

After reading the first book out of pure peer pressure, I must admit that it took me a good year to muster up the courage to read another E. L. James novel. 

I had been told that I should just push through and find my way into her second novel because the improvement is drastic.

In all honest, I wasn't going to listen to people. Her writing irritated me so much so that I could have literally gagged while walking past copies of her books in the bookstore.

...Then I got Fifty Shades Darker as a present...

 

Without getting too in depth about it, I knew someone who reminds me a lot of Christian Grey. OK, so he didn't have the whole 'Red Room of Pain' thing going on, but he was still extremely controlling, domineering and just plain creepy.

I was reminded so much of him through Christian Grey's character in the first few pages of the second book that I literally had to put it down on a number of occasions.

 

Ana, the main character, still irritates the hell out of me. So does her subconcious and her 'Inner Goddess...'

One thing that I detested about the first book were all of the 'Holy Shits!' and 'Oh My's' written in italics. Well, let me tell you, in the second book they are still very much their in black and white catastrophic lettering.

One thing that I did appreciate however was only one description of Christian Grey 'cocking his head to one side' by 150 pages in.

 

Just as I was starting to enjoy it, the whole bloody book was cocking its head to one side!!!

 

Now... enough of the ranting. Lets try and be positive.

 

What I did enjoy about Fifty Shades Darker:

 

• The more 'romantic' side to it. Discovering a different side to the fictional character that seems to have every women in a frenzy lately.
• I hate admitting it, I really do... but I caught myself smiling every so often at little descriptions of the love that the characters, Ana and Christian, feel for each other. E. L. James described  their moments of intimacy with much more meaning than she seemed to do in the first book and I realise that is because they grew closer - but this was more relatable.
• The book was without a doubt more relatable and 'normal.' I know that this book is supposed to be scandalous and different... something new; but it was good to find more than carnal fucking hidden in the depths of the pages.

 

It is better than the first book. There is more to the story-line, more to Christian Grey and more that kept me turning the pages and picking it up after work.

 

Somewhere along the line, I got hooked. I don't know how it happened... three phsycopaths and two or three predictable twists and turns later managed to just salvage her second book.

 

E. L. James threw every possible dilemma in life towards Ana and Christian. Seriously... NO ONE has that many issues and complications without winding up in a mental institute. It was an exhausting read trying to keep up with the never-ending drama but I finally got through it all last night.

 

And of couse, as in the first book, there is a cliff-hanger which annoyingly enough has you sprinting out of your front door to find a copy of the final book in the trilogy: Fifty Shades Freed.



 

 





50 Shades Of Grey - Book Review

I have finally completed the first book in the latest trilogy, 50 Shades of Grey and let me just say that it took me a shameful amount of time to work my way through it. 

Nothing much really intrigued me about the book, but there was so much hype going on that I had to delve deeper into the mystery. 

The book was... interesting? 

No. 

No, it wasn't really. 

After hearing about the brutal sex scenes and heated paragraphs of course I was excited to read something uncommon and unspoken of! 

Yet I turned page after page just waiting for something, anything, to happen!!! 

I'm not sure how, but I pushed through the slow paced, repetitive chapters and wording - fighting back the urge to throw the damn book against my wall half the time with the uncountable amount of times E. L. James describes the glorious Christian Grey 'cocking his head to one side.' 

The, 'Oh My's!' and 'Holy Shit's!' also tended to add to my annoyance; but blanketed beneath the awful writing there was actually quite a beautifully sad storyline about a tortured soul and his 'unique' sex life fetishes. 

In the beginning, the story is almost unbelievable with private jets and this poor, unsuspecting girl being absolutely lavished with extravagant gifts such as cars and Blackberries, the latest laptop and a brand new wardrobe. But as you go on and unravel the story behind the man who whips and chains his women, making them sign contracts and use safe-words, you realize just how realistic it could be.

I am definitely intrigued to see what happens next, as the first book ends with a major cliffhanger... but I need a break from 'that world' right now. 

I am however, extremely excited for the film! I hear a few heartthrobs are lining up to play this dark and mysterious sex addict . . . if I had my way I think I would choose Chris Hemsworth! 

Yes, I would recommend you read it. If you don't you'll always be left wondering what all the fuss is about and it does seem to be a great conversation starter. It opens you up to a whole new world although to be fair,  I did expect the sex scenes to be slightly more graphic and gruesome than what I discovered. 

I know that reason is because Christian Grey has what he likes to call, 'Vanilla Sex,' a lot with Anastasia Steele. You couldn't possibly rope a virgin right in with all these overwhelming sex toys and positions! He eases her into it in this novel... and I have heard that the story gets much more gripping and satisfying in the follow up: Fifty Shades of Darker.

The book is writing about the unspoken for woman in an acceptable form away from pornography and demeaning sex-sites. 

Enjoy the read - or try to at least!