Deaths breath has sent a chill down my protruding spine...

It happened. He passed away. It hasn't hit me. It was coming for such a long time that now it has actually happened, I don't believe it. He's still alive. He's still living in Cape Town and suffering. He isn't dead. Not to me...

I know I'm in denial. I know its not good for me. I know he's gone. I know I'll never be able to tell him I love him again. I can't even remember the last time I did.... I know I'll never get to see him again. But somehow, he's not dead. He can't be!

I have no grandfathers left...

This entry is a waste of time. I am just writing down exactly whats clogging up my heart.

Why do people always leave?

I am trying so hard to be strong, to lock it all up inside. I can't be alone. I can't see his picture. I can't look at the necklace he bought me when I was a new born.

We weren't amazingly close, but he was still a part of me. A part of me that is gone now.