February Favorites

Hi everyone!

Are you all sitting cozy with your coffee / tea / hot chocolate or wine??? 

Good... 

I hope you enjoy my post today. 

It's just a little look into my February. Which was CRAAAAAAAZY by the way!

I hope you all had an excellent month too and look forward to hearing what exciting things happened to you throughout the month in the comments below! 

Favorite Purchases:

I found my bikini for Bali and Philippines!!!

I fell so in love with this little number I just couldn't resist the splurge... can't wait to pack it in my suitcase and head off for Southeast Asia!

Eeeeek!





I also FINALLY found my leather backpack that I've been hunting for... and got it at an absolute BARGAIN!!!
The money went towards a good cause too.
I found this little guy while stumbling around town in a pair of painful heels with no soles! I'd crept into this tiny store called Eye Love to give my feet a break when I spotted a leather backpack jammed into the corner window.

It was love at first sight.
And now it's going to be slung across my shoulders when I backpack through Southeast Asia in a few months time!

Favorite thing to do in my spare time:

The ocean is my safe haven. Every chance I get I am down on the shore, digging my bare feet into the sand and enjoying some down time. 

Favorite Photograph:

I took this one evening while the sun was setting over the rolling hills of the beautiful town I am lucky enough to call home.

Favorite Reads:

I started reading A Street Cat Named Bob by James Bowen. 

I never denied being a crazy cat lady..........

Book review on A Street Cat Named Bob HERE.



I've also been loving lazy Sunday's kicking back with a cup of tea and reading up about Indonesia... My flight's in 4 months time!!!!

Favorite Exercise:

I started Crossfit. 

That is what I look for before Crossfit....

And this is what I look like afterwards:

An absolute sweat monster!

Favorite Laugh:

For anyone who does Crossfit, I'm pretty sure this picture is self-explanatory.



Oh! I also had this pic posted onto my Facebook timeline from my best friend, Lucien... I think tea actually came out of my nose I laughed so hard:



(Every bit of that screams Jade!)

Favorite Decision:

Just over a month ago, I made the decision to stop drinking.

Not altogether... but I decided to cut back a lot. 

It had gotten to a stage where I would open a bottle of wine every single night and in the end I just got sick of it. 

It started making me miserable. 

It was effecting my mind and my body and so I took a stand. 

I replaced alcohol with Crossfit and stuck to teas, hot chocolate, WATER and Bloody Mary's without any vodka in during the evenings. 

I drank only a handful of times this month and all were for good reasons. 

The first glass of wine I had in February was on Wednesday the 4th to celebrate that I'd just booked my flights to the Philippines and Bali!

Another time I indulged in a glass of red (note how I don't say bottle?!) was on my granny's last night in South Africa before she headed back to Scotland.

I just want wine to be special. 

I don't want drinking to be a routine in my life - and I think I'm doing pretty great so far!

Favorite Surprise:

I had a really, really shitty day at the beginning of the month and to cheer me up, an old friend surprised me at work with a gorgeous photograph he'd taken that reminded him of me and he also stuck on a sneaky chocolate! 

Why did I have such a shitty day???? Because I got attacked by a wet wipe box and almost lost my finger! 

I kid you not. 

My finger got stuck inside that thing and two guys had to cut it off me with pocket knives!!!!!

You can't take me anywhere..........



Another cool surprise that happened to me in February was finding my mums old polaroid camera!
I haven't managed to get the film for it yet (it's going to be quite pricey!) but once I've got some spare cash lying around I can't wait to play with this guy!

Favorite Moment:

When I realized that even though there was no electricity, I could prevail. 

I had a fully charged laptop, an internet dongle to connect to blog world and a gas stove to boil some water in order to make some plunger coffee!

Success!

Favorite Times With Friends:



Cooking my best friend, Lucien, a big seafood dinner and having a cozy night in watching horror movies!

Favorite Feeling:




Being comfortable in my baggy pj's and sweat-pants, no makeup and reading glasses on while pottering around the house.
No need to impress anyone... just 'ou naturel' and chilling OUT....
Such a great feeling over the weekends rather than caking up in makeup and slipping into tight clothes and going out partying, spending all your money.

Instead, I've been reading books and enjoying time at home with my cats and dogs.

Pure BLISS.



Oh yeah.... also treating myself to the occasional glass of wine in the evenings was lovely. I've certainly cut back A LOT... and I can feel the difference already.

Just loving life!


Favorite Spoils:




It was Valentines Day - and this year I decided to spoil myself a bit... OK, A LOT!!!

I bought myself a super cool Go Pro Hero 4 Silver which I haven't had the opportunity to use properly yet because I still need a few of the goodies like 'floaty backdoors' and stuff. I also still need to put a hole into my surfboard so that I can finally get some epic photos of me surfing (well, I like to think they're going to be epic anyway!).
But soon enough I'll put my Go Pro to use and share all the awesome images I capture with you!!!

I also bought myself a lovely book which I'm currently over half way through - I'll feature more of it in next months posts... but just know that it is AMAZING and if you haven't read Wild by Cheryl Strayed then you need to go and find yourself a copy immediately! Especially if you love the outdoors and have a case of Wanderlust!

To make the entire month PERFECT, I used some of the money I have been saving for YEARS now on plane tickets to Bali and Philippines!
It's 100-ish days until I pack up my suitcase, throw a leather backpack over my shoulders and catch a flight out of here!!!

Favorite Activity:





I attended an Angel Connection retreat out on a farm in Rheenendaal and it was nothing short of amazing.
Read more about it HERE.


Favorite Auntie Moment:

Seeing this little guy growing up!
He's getting so big and strong - my heart cannot contain the love!!

Favorite Goal:




I've been editing The Other Woman as much as I possibly can over the month of Feb but as you can see, it's been a pretty crazy month!!!

It is nearly finished though and I hope to have it all polished and ready to go by the end of March!

My goal was to have the book be ready and available by my birth month, May... but now I have a feeling it may just be ready before then!

I'm going to be pushing towards finding an agent now too... I have one in mind based in London who I've already been in contact with. It's all a bit daunting because you have to supply cover letters and a synopsis of your work which has never been one of my strong suits and the thing is that if the agent doesn't like your cover letter or the synopsis then they won't even take a peak at the actual manuscript!!
I think that is what makes me choke. Knowing it rests on those two things... gulp.
But I need to try - and I'm going to!

Wish me luck!


Favorite SURPRISE:









I've turned BACK into a blondie!!!!

And I am absolutely LOVING it!

Being blonde ALWAYS makes me feel happy and more confident. There's something about it that just makes me feel more feminine!




Since re-bleaching it, my hair has been more curly than EVER! Seriously, it's wild!!!
I've also just started to take some hair growth supplements after the devastating realization that I cannot afford extensions..... ever.
So hopefully it'll work and grow down to my ass like I want it to soon! This awkward length it's at now is a right pain....

Had to add the photo of me and my kitty-cat... although she is immensely pissed off with me because I caught her with two legs dangling out of her mouth that just happened to belong to a frog... of course I saved the poor thing... much to her disappointment.

Happy, happy days to being a blondie again!


Favorite Work Event:



We had our first exhibition opening of the year and it was a huge success!


Buuuuut.....



The next morning I was NOT excited to put makeup on and head to work again.
Seriously in need of a chilled day in front of the television!
But I kicked the days butt and got home that evening and continued to pack my life into boxes for the big move....

I never thought I'd feel so emotional about the move... But I do.
I had actual tears this morning although I fought them away as best I could.




Lao Tzu once said, 'New Beginnings Are Often Disguised As Painful Endings'.
And on that note:


Favorite Quote:

I loved this quote! 

Enough said.
(and because I've now just turned back into a blondie, the lemons now apply!)




So today is the last day of Feb and I'm about to finish up work and head off to my new house, which I haven't even seen yet!!! Eeeek...
After moving in some boxes and settling the cats and dogs in I'll be slicking back some oysters and welcoming in the new beginning.

I hope Feb's been good to you all.

See you in March ;)

Honesty Entering 2015

What is a blog if it isn't honest? I think a lot of us bloggers set up an account, brag about our outfits or latest beauty products, share bits of our materialistic lives and gush about how fabulous and glitzy we can be (I'm just generalizing here by the way. There are many of you that I absolutely love to keep up to date with that have actual interesting things to say!) 

Well, it's a new year in 1 day and 11 hours and I have something to admit. I haven't been honest with any of you.

You see... 2014 was a pretty shitty year for me for lack of better words. In fact, they are the perfect words - because it was shitty. Yet here I was trying to coax you into trying some silly horse shampoo or publishing a post about buying a pair of bad quality shoes every month to show to you like it really even mattered?! 

There were a small collection of 'real' posts I suppose - although I never really gave too much away. For example, there was the time back in June when my best friend in the world left and I wrote THIS.

Then there was a nice little slice of positive words to myself HERE shortly after that. 

I even posted a video clip back in August where I was in tears after being mucked around by yet another smelly git of a man... watch that NOW.  

I think the idea of posting real life struggles and perils is such a great idea in the blog world because we all have them but we try so hard to blanket them with all this bullshit. 

So here, in short, is a small summary of what REALLY happened in 

2014.... 

It was my first year as an Auntie. 

Jenson Charles Preston Wright was born on the 26th December 2013. 

Being an Auntie is incredible. It's a love like no other and this little guy has stolen my heart. 

I got a tattoo of cherry blossoms on my foot to symbolize mortality when my dad was given three days to live. 

I got my first novel, Walk With Me, published and it sold like hot cakes. The experience of publishing it was incredible but hard as hell. It did give me so much inspiration to complete my second novel entitled, The Other Woman, though. 

I had my first freelance journalist gig - which was a HUGE milestone in my career as a writer. It was for a site called Bored.com and it was about unique ways to wrap up your Christmas presents. 

As a writer, you can't help but feel so incredibly stoked when you see your own work published! So to see not only my first novel but also my first article published in 2014, that was pretty damn cool. 

You can check the article out HERE. 

I've been battling with living back at home with my folks - who although try to deny it, are big lovers of getting absolutely pickled every night in front of the television. 

I don't know how life could ever end up like that... sitting on the couch, slowly passing out from too much alcohol while watching mindless junk on the TV. 

I'm scared of that happening to me..... and I am willing to do just about anything to prevent it. 

I get angry and grumpy with them and become a terror of a person. I bitch and moan and shout at them... me... their daughter... the one they used to rock to sleep at night and sing lullabies to. 

I get so churned up inside seeing them like that. 

If it was once a week, on a weekend... then why not? But it is every single bloody night. But as hard as I try to tell them they have a problem... they just don't stop. 

I don't know if they ever will. 

But I still love them both... dearly.

As for friends..... well... to be honest with you it's been a pretty lonely year. 

I've never been great at making friends. 

Back in high school I was the biggest freak show and nerd you could get... of course it affects you. 

I have a few wonderful close friends like Lucien and Ashley... but the others seem to come and go. 

A lot of the time I make great friends but then they move to a new town or to a different country and slowly we lose contact. It's how it works I suppose.... but I have been needing to find a 'group,' if you will..... 

It sucks so much to see all these photographs on Facebook of girls nights and barbecues, going out and having FUN. 

I have them too - at the end of every month I show you photo's of me enjoying my evenings with people.... but do those people really care or know me? Not really.... not if I'm honest.

I miss having friends - friends that keep in touch and check in on how you are. Friends who make the effort and go the extra mile to let you know they are there for you. 

I don't have many of them left anymore.

Surfing? There hasn't really been much of that. I have probably done it a handful of times this year - and actually, as I write this, I am struggling away with some seriously stiff muscles from a couple of hours in the water on Sunday. I caught about three good waves but I definitely need to pick it back up again if I have any hope of surfing Indonesia in 7 months time!!! 

That's the OTHER thing... those of you who follow me regularly (thanks for that by the way!) will obviously know how passionate I am about travel. 

There was non of that in 2014.... barring a few little jets to the cities in South Africa, which I'm not really sure counts... but at least I was on a plane. 

There's something about being way up there in the sky.... and it's not just the fact that the altitude makes drinking wine just that much more fun! No... it's knowing that when you touch ground again it will be some place else....

I get SERIOUS cabin fever. 

I'm a nomad... a gypsy... or as my mother likes to call me, a bit of a waif and a stop-out............... (thanks mum). 

I go bat-shit crazy without experiencing the joys of a new country and culture. 

I could have traveled, hell, I've saved up enough! But I'm saving up so that next year can be my travel year... I have big plans and slowly but surely they are all coming into fruition. That's the only thing keeping me sane right now... knowing soon, I'll be somewhere else on the map, with a rucksack on my back and a passport in my hand. 

Now here's the real deep one....

I slit my wrist. Yip. Now there's some honesty for you. 

I had an absolute breakdown - went on anti-depressants and started suffering from major anxiety. 

Why did I do it? There are many reasons. 

Depression is a hard pill to swallow on top of the CiLift or whatever happy drug you're taking to help you out.

I think more often than not, we are so afraid to show who we really are... to show our weaknesses and fall-backs because we are petrified of judgement. 

But you know what??? Judge me if you want to. I don't care anymore. 

I got weak and I fell. I'm left with a stupid scar across my left wrist from something I did because I was ashamed with myself. Why???

Because I nearly killed someone. 

I got involved with a married man - fell in love with him, adored him, almost bloody worshiped him.... and he loved me back. At least I think he did. But then his wife found out and she didn't take it well. Who can blame her??? It's the worst thing I have ever done - to have continued something like that.
I should probably clarify that I didn't actually KNOW he was married until I was already to deep in into the doomed hole.... I really didn't. If I had, things would have ended up VERY differently. 

She slashed her wrists... badly. It wasn't just a plea for attention, but a genuine suicide attempt - and when he told me about it, it gave me such a fright. 

I was devastated. How could I have done that to someone??? And so I wanted to feel that pain. Somehow I thought that if I punished myself I could make it better. I fell back into a depression so deep and hurtful that I was experimenting with drugs and harming myself so much.... not letting anyone in to help. No one even really knew what I was doing.
One of the reasons I finally moved back home to my folks, was because I was having a problem with drugs. I told my folks everything. What I'd thought was just fun experimental teenage shit actually got really ugly......... and I made the huge decision to come clean to them.... and for AGES I had done so well at cleaning myself up... but after this happened.... I fell down again. 

Falling into this black abyss of depression and self-loathing very nearly killed me. 

I tried to apologize - I tried to make amends. But how can you ever really do that? How does someone ever forgive you for that? And how do you forgive yourself???

That weight has been resting heavily on my shoulders all throughout 2014 and I don't know when it will go away - or if it ever will. 

That story is what my book, The Other Woman is based on. 

Have you ever done anything so awful that you don't know if you could ever forgive yourself? If so... how did you overcome it? 

And lastly - I started dating the handsome bearded fellow... Sam. 

I think what is different about us is that I actually finally stopped caring. That sounds like the most unromantic thing I've ever said but let me explain....

Throughout my life, I have been with over a handful of absolute knob-heads... which in no way means I am any kind of a Saint... but from drug-addicts to beaters, manipulators and cheaters, even obsessive and possessive. Throw a couple of crazies in there and you've spelled out my life story! I can tick them all off. So eventually, I just felt like my heart had been so destroyed that I genuinely couldn't love again. 

I tried. 

I had one or two absolute GEMS that I tried DESPERATELY hard to love. It wasn't them. It was me.... as cliche as that sounds. I just couldn't open my heart - though I tried so hard it seemed like I did love them. I tricked myself and I tricked them into thinking I was in love. As evil as that sounds, I really didn't mean it to be. 

So when Sam came around I was literally done. 

Over. 

Ca-put with love. 

We went out a few times... both of us fresh out of relationships and feeling a bit lost... and he reawakened a certain spark in me that had been missing for so long. 

He challenged me. He wasn't over-the-top romantic or nauseatingly mushy. He was real... strong and manly.. yet so incredibly gentle. The definition of a big teddy bear (OK... Maybe more of a grizzly bear)... but he's my bear. 

It was the first time I entered into something with all my cards on the table. I told him EVERYTHING... and by everything, I mean everything. What did I have to lose anyway???? And Sam accepted it. He chose to love me with all of my flaws and imperfections.. the real ones. The ones that we try to hide away from even those that are closest to us. 

Have I found the guy I am meant to spend the rest of my life with?

Who knows - I'm not claiming to know the future. 

But I am happy - and I make him happy - and together we are growing and learning and being... as we should be. 

It's as simple as that.  

So that was pretty much my year. 

Not all it seemed to be cracked up to be from so many of my showy posts, was it??? 

We all have things behind the scenes. 

It's called real life... and I think we need to start facing it. 

Stop hiding it.

It's almost as bad as photogshopped models. They DO have stretch marks and cellulite and a bit of a wobble.... but people edit themselves so much... it's such a lie. 

This is life... now stop editing yours and worrying about being judged. 

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter... and those who matter don't mind!" - Dr Seuss. 

See you all in the New Year.

Peace, love and harmony to all.... and to all, a goodnight. 

Addo Elephant National Park

I had the most wonderful weekend out in the wild, going on game drives where there was little to no signal. Every so often it is so good for you to deviate from the beaten track and get lost in the roads less traveled. 

Day One was scorching hot, I arrived mid-afternoon and ventured out on a game drive where I spotted beautiful and majestic elephants, eagles, tortoise, zebra, warthog and lots of buck. 

This is a photo of me introducing my nephew, Jenson (9 months old), to Pumba!

He was such a gem all weekend, laughing, smiling and giggling in between his adorably chaotic crawling EVERYWHERE!! Nothing is safe anymore now that he is officially mobile! Ahhh!

The elephants and the eagles really did steal the show for me this weekend. Both are creatures that I am absolutely fascinated by. 

Unfortunately we saw no wild cats; but on day two we did manage to spot black-backed jackal and hyena munching on stolen prey. 

I called shot gun with my mum while my brother, his wife and Jenson went in their own car... and boy did mum and I party it up in our vehicle. We're as bad as each other really!! Mischief I tell you. 

In the evenings once the gates to the park had been shut and everyone else had gone to bed, mum and I ordered bottles of wine, stole glasses and hopped down to the watering hole hoping to see animals drinking but alas, it was dead. 

It was really wonderful to bond with her again though. 

Our family has been through a lot lately and so it was lovely to forget everything and just let our hair down together.  

In the mornings we'd head over to the local grill and bistro and fuel up with some breakfast - Jenson having his mushed up carrots and butternut baby foods. I couldn't help but feel bad! 

I had to share this photo of Auntie Jade and her stunning nephew though - how freaking cute is he in his little stripey shirt and Happy Chappy cap!? 

My heart melts. 

Overall, it was just wonderful to break routine and escape out into nature for a while. 

I'm not the kind of girl that likes to be in big cities, in clubs and shopping malls and wearing bloody makeup and high-fashion all day, every day. 

I don't like sitting on a computer day in and day out - surrounded by drama and developing a seriously bad case of small-town syndrome. 

Escaping this past weekend really just fuelled me up in wanting to head back out there into the world again. 

I've been stuck in South Africa for a year now, which is the longest I've been without traveling in an incredibly long time and it is starting to eat away at my spirit. 

I've got a few ideas in mind - mainly being to save, save, save while working my butt off and keeping out of trouble and then heading over to India for a little trip next year for the Holi One Colour Festival (tick another thing from my bucket list!) in March. 

From there I'd come back and continue working and saving like mad until I have made a firm decision on where I want to move to for a few months and work overseas. That's been an idea of mine for a while now and the main countries that really appeal to me are Canada (one of the things on my bucket list is to learn to snow-board at a ski-resort there and work there while I'm at it! Lets face it, Canadian accents are beautiful, the country itself is beautiful and the people are renowned for being friendly, quirky and fun!), then there's Bali... my biggest dream in life (barring being a famous novelist!) is to go there and surf - be a beach bum for a while. Here I could teach surfing or English, work in a back-packers. I was thinking about it all yesterday and the thing is that in Canada, I know loads of people from really close friends I met while traveling through Europe last year, old school friends that have moved there since university to pursue musical careers, to amazing 'pen-pals' and blogging friends. Bali, I know no one that actually lives there but I know many friends of mine that go there often to surf and get away (lucky right???). This inevitably makes Bali slightly more scary for me as I'd be 100% alone - but it's awesome to have options. 

Lastly there is Australia. Again, I have not only friends from school and friends that I met while traveling through Europe that live there but I also have family. Family who have been so kind as to offer me FREE accommodation while finding my feet there. 

I don't want to choose a country purely based on accommodation reasons though - and to be honest, Australia, as wonderful as it is, wouldn't be number one on my list. 

My cousin that lives there has been giving me some amazing advice though... drilling into my head that if I don't get out of this small town and branch out, experience what the world has to offer while I am young and have nothing holding me back - then I will regret it... and you know what? He's right. I will. So I know I need to go. 

I was looking at my savings account as some sort of a security blanket and thinking how great it is to have all this cash saved up for if and when I need it but I could die tomorrow. Any of us could - and if I don't go and live my dreams of travel while I can, with the money I have saved, I'll always regret it. 

Someone very cynical told me that I won't have a chance to regret it, because I'll be dead (thanks for that.....) but I see it completely differently. 

So I can confidently say that I have made my decision. 

I will be going traveling again A LOT as of next year. A few more months of saving up to achieve this and then poof... I am off on a new adventure. Where to, I don't know yet - and that is half of the excitement.