Dear Future Husband

Christie (over at christiestakeonlife.blogspot.com.au), recently inspired me to write a letter to my future husband. Her post was just so funny that I had to give it a bash. At first, it wasn't something that I was going to bother publishing, but here it is… a whimsical letter to my future husband:

Hello there! My name is Jade – get that? Baby, Babe, Babes and Cupcake simply won’t cut it. If you still want your left nut intact, I suggest you come up with a unique pet name.

Toilet Seat: Put down after use… or I’ll glue it down permanently. I love you but in the middle of the night if it’s cold and dark and I go to the loo and sit on freezing cold porcelain I won’t like you very much.

Dancing: I cannot do it. I look like I have a spastic hip but I enjoy ‘breaking it down’ on the dance floor every so often. My friends quickly walk away and pretend they don’t me… so I won’t be offended if you do the same.

Birthdays. I am big on experiences, more so than materialistic gifts. Gifts are of course appreciated, everyone loves to be spoiled… but I would prefer to surprise you with a weekend away somewhere that I know you want to go to. I’d know this either by blatant hints slung my way or maybe just because I’m that good and I know you well enough without needing the hints!

I’d also love to help you tick things off of your bucket list and enjoy such things by your side. I’d prefer to give you a memory that lasts a lifetime rather than a ‘thing’ wrapped up (badly wrapped I might add because I can’t wrap presents,) that will eventually get lost or put away in storage.

Bucket Lists. Just because I say I want to bungee jump or sky dive doesn’t mean you aren’t going to have to give me a literal kick off of the ledge before I enjoy myself. I will be tensed up like a cat, claws out and hanging on for dear life. Bear with me.

Surprises: Right. I love surprises – if I am giving them... which is something I like to do often. At the most unexpected times I will surprise you with small tokens of my love and affection for you. You won’t see them coming – unless I manage to bollucks it up first and accidently spill the beans.. which also happens often. I’m not good at keeping surprises. So don’t trust me with them either! If you are planning a surprise for a friend or loved one rather don’t tell me, although at the same time I’d LOVE to help plan and make it special… I’d still be petrified that I’d blurt something out.

If I am getting surprised I freak out. I hate not feeling in control.

Being in Control: I like to know where I am going and what I am doing. I like to know I have packed correctly and worn the right clothing for the right occasion – this is one of my annoying and shallow qualities and something I would like to change because what you’re wearing isn’t really important, the moment is. So it is a work in progress. I need to step out of my comfort zone and see how groovy it actually is out there.

Being not in Control: Sometimes, I will admit defeat and need you. Sometimes. You know.. to open those really tight jars or to reach for the things that I can’t for instance. I’ll keep you posted

On a whole, I like being independent.

Truthfully though and on a more serious note, I will always need you for the things beneath the surface.. the things that really matter.

The Dishes: One big thing about me is that if I am upset, I wash dishes. I don’t even know I’m doing it until half way through. Yes, if I’m upset I like to clean.. but that doesn’t mean it is solely my job. If we live together, we work together to keep our house looking good and make it into something we are proud to invite friends and family to.

My job: I am a writer. I will get up at 3am some mornings and go on a writing rampage. I will do my best to not disturb you but just know that inspiration comes at the most random times and when it comes, I need to pursue it.

Sometimes, if inspiration hits me, I could wonder off into my own world for hours on end. I’ve been known to write for over 14 hours without stopping for anything else other than re-boiling the kettle to get a caffeine fix.

Writing is my passion – you’re a big boy, I’m sure you can keep yourself busy while I write.

In a relationship, it is always important to remember that you are both individuals. You both have different likes and dislikes and you both have your own separate lives.

It reminds me of a great Kahlil Gibran quote:

Love one another, but make not a bond of love.

Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.

Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.

Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone.

Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.

For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together yet not too near together.

For the pillars of the temple stand apart.

And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.

Lastly, my heart, if I have said that it is yours then it is yours. A while ago I didn’t think that I had a heart to give out anymore, so if I’ve managed to stitch it back together and hand it over to you, please look after it. If I’ve said that I love you, I mean it unconditionally. It means that I love you for all that you are and it means that I have accepted the inevitable flaws that reside in you… we all have them.

I’ll be there for you and you’ll be there for me…. Simple as that.