Bloody Horoscopes......

Okay horoscope.... now that you have my full attention I've downloaded an app onto my phone called Daily Horoscope. Happy now? And once again this morning you have been rather spookily accurate. 

Firstly, yesterday my horoscope mentioned a machine will break down and low and behold my laptop which has been on its last legs for a while now decided to have another one of its fits on me and stopped working. I have a question for you horoscope.... HOW. DO. YOU. KNOW?! 

THEN..... on this new fancy free Daily Horoscope app on my phone this morning it said: Instead of worrying about the cost of something you may inadvertently acquire today, Taurus, think about what it brings you. And LOW AND BEHOLD..... my first direct debit for my car insurance graced me with its presence this morning. It has been a bloody expensive week. Thank goodness it's a short month. 

For tomorrow, Saturday, it says I may be on the verge of repeating a mistake. Yippy.... A certain conversation always takes me down a certain path, it says. My only conversation I can think that is about is being totally blunt with men about the things I want in life. Well.... I KNOW I do that but if I don't then I could potentially be wasting both of our time.... I know I need to work on just enjoying life for a while though and to stop focusing on such big things. It's something I've always struggled with really. I don't really know how to change that mind-set. I need some FUN in my life... that's pretty obvious. So maybe tomorrow, whatever happens, I'll just try to have fun and let go of those big questions and worries and the insurmountable pressure I put onto myself. 

Alright stars... you win. I believe you now.

Alright stars... you win. I believe you now. 

I've been reading up on my horoscope from time to time, seeing what silly stuff life has in store for me according to my star sign, Taurus. Lately though, my horoscope has been spookily accurate. 

Not only did I get a horoscope reading last month saying that I'd be collecting a set of keys for a vehicle and low and behold, later that week I got a car. 

It said stuff like how in love terms, I'm getting ready to share deep knowledge with "M...." and my exes name begins with an M..... and low and behold last week I told him this entire experience has made me realize what I'm worth and that he doesn't deserve me. That was a really powerful moment for me, to finally stand my ground and be OK with the breakup. And I meant every word, too. 

Today, if you read my below post, my horoscope basically told me I was going to be an emotional wreck today. The first half of the day was OK. I mean, I couldn't complain. I had a yummy smoothie from my new NutriBullet I just bought for myself (call it an early Valentines Day gift). I had a job to go to with really nice colleagues. But as the day went on I can't explain it.... my mood just plummeted. I started thinking way too much about life. That's always dangerous, especially if you're me. 
I just got to thinking about how I'm almost 30 and back on dating sites... and the mundane conversations you have with people. The same shit all the time: Hi. How are you? What do you do? How was your day? Blah fucking blah. I'm over it. And then I think back to year ago when I was using Tinder and how I was so mellow about it and I met people so easily. We can't do that anymore. Covid-19 has really made it hard to connect with someone the 'normal' way. You can't go out to a restaurant or the zoo. I mean, at the beginning of lockdown I had socially distanced dates. I got serenaded in a field overlooking a lake with an acoustic guitar by a musician while I sipped happily on a glass of wine and reveled in every women's envy as they walked by. It was lovely. Very romantic. But he just wasn't for me. The thing is, he was TOO clingy. He wouldn't leave me the fuck alone. I know what you're about to say. Pump the breaks.. hold up Jade, that's exactly what you wanted!? Someone to give you their undivided attention. I DON'T KNOW people of the internet. I don't know what my problem was then. I just KNEW he wasn't 'The One...' before the clinginess began really so when that kicked in I got probably unnecessarily annoyed. See, I love affection. I LOVE words of affirmation, it's my love language for Gods sake. I love feeling SPECIAL not that I actually know what that feels like (I guess I'd love to know). But I also like space. And if we are together in the same room, yeah the occasional coming up behind me to wrap your arms around me while I'm cooking and giving me a kiss on the neck is lovely. A welcome distraction at times.... but this musician was CONSTANTLY all over me and I couldn't stand it. I'm not used to it. I think, after what I've been through, affection is something that you're going to need to slowly work out of me. I used to be the most loving, affectionate and caring girl in the world.... but life happened and I hardened up. Yeah I'm still a massive softie. I cry too easily. I feel things too deeply. But the affection thing is no longer normal for me. I have such a huge guard up and that needs work. 

Anyway I'm going completely off track. So my emotions pretty much bulldozed me to the ground today. After work as I was trudging to my car I was fighting back the tears and I couldn't even explain why. My only idea is the fact that online dating is hard now and I feel deflated. With not being able to date the normal way the only thing people bloody suggest is a walk.... and walks in the UK this time of year are cold and miserable. I don't mind that so much...... I love tugging on my wellies and bundling up. But I just want someone to suggest something unique. Something that makes me feel like, WOW.... this guys making an effort! I don't really feel like anyone really is right now.... and that's not really even fair of me because of the law right now...! It's just it's either a bloody walk in the pissing rain or going to someones's house / vice versa and I am FAR too street-wise for that. I am not allowing some random block into my flat that I've just met and I certainly am not going to a random house in a random area I don't know either. Dating right now is near impossible - and scary. Yet I just know my ex will be loving Muddy Matches dating site right now and arranging gorgeous dog walks with women from all over Milton Keynes. Good fekking luck to whoever he gets to go for walks, his low libido and mind-games, not to mention aggression and anger are your problem now!  

Again.... off track. I started driving home and at one of the roundabouts where I have to take the third exit I almost killed myself. That did it. The rest of the way home I was clutching onto my steering wheel sobbing my heart out... plus there was actual TRAFFIC which I mean, I didn't understand because it's never been busy before because LOCKDOWN. So everyone could probably see me sobbing and angrily swiping away at my cheeks. Just grrrrrrrrreat. 

I finally made it to my parking lot in one piece (just) and had to run to the post office to submit my South African drivers license to be changed for a GB one. That in itself is scary shit because to send your application is almost fifty quid, not to mention the special postage to make sure you can track that shit. So my total fee cost me almost seventy quid I just don't have right now but it had to be done. I'm living on fekking 55p tinned soups for the rest of the bloody month. 

After the post office I literally ran down the dodgy little alleyway to my flat and burst into tears. 

I'm 30 in EXACTLY 100 days. Life isn't playing fair with me.

There's been this question in my head for a while now that honestly I've been trying to ignore.... but it reared its ugly head again today and I just can't shake it. What if marriage and kids just isn't meant for me? I have so many fucking grey hairs and I don't even get ID'd anymore when buying wine because I have wrinkles to boot. 
On my lunch break today I walked to Sainsbury's to pick up some eggs and shit... and on my way back to work I passed a couple around my age walking hand in hand, chatting and laughing away. She'll have a date for Valentines Day. She'll be getting proposed to and having babies. Me??? Will I? I'm starting to think I just don't see it for myself anymore. Maybe it isn't my destiny. Maybe I'm meant to be alone (and I'm not saying this in a weird miserable way! I'm just thinking about it seriously). I always thought I'd be a great mum. A great wife. I feel like I'm an amazing, supportive and loving girlfriend, or at least I used to be. Life has given me some major trust issues and that too makes this whole dating again thing hard. Impossible. Thanks life and covid. My laptop doesn't even recognize the word 'covid.' It thinks I'm misspelling something. Well, dear old shitty laptop, you better get used to that word. Covid. Covid. Covid. 

Right. I'm going to check out what the horoscope has to say for tomorrow. Big sigh. Here we go....

'All the planets are very fortunately aligned for you.' HOLY SHIT!? Yes!!!! 

'The coming weeks should be great, Taurus.' Music to my bloody ears.

Oooo yep... it's telling me I may worry about this good fortune not lasting and yep... if things are going good in my life chances are I'm probably going to be veeeeeerrrrryyyyyy skeptical about it. 
'Don't let yourself panic. This all continues for the next 6 months.' Okayyyy.... great..... what happens after 6 months!? Don't let me get half way to fucking 31 and have another bloody breakup and have to start over again. Please. I can't take it anymore. Then I really WILL become a crazy cat lady. 

Oh, hold on. It says, 'however, you may need to focus sufficient effort if you want it last for a longer time.' Shut the fuck up horoscope..... I always put every ounce of effort I have into my life and you know what??? It. Never. Works.

I think my problem today is that I'm honestly on the verge of just giving up. 

I clicked on the Love section of the horoscope and it says, 'Todays the ideal day to arrange a get-together with those you love most.' Ahem. Horoscope, are you TRYING to get me arrested. We're in the middle of a world pandemic. Stupid. Although my guess is this was all written by some American Trump supporter anyway so they couldn't give two shits. 
ALSO, horoscope. Groovy. I'll just jump onto a flight back to South Africa to go and see my best girlfriends then shall I?? They're pretty much who I love most in the world now. Besides my nephews obviously, but they tire of me and get tantrums after about fifteen minutes so I don't quite think a 12 hour flight is worth that right now haha. My loved one, ex loved one rather, is gone. You should KNOW this horoscope. Get your shit together. Get facts straight before you go putting my life together for me. Gosh! 

Oooooo this is interesting though. If you're looking for a new relationship, don't stay reading. Get out there and meet as many people as possible. 

FANTASTIC. Covid 19 all around!?!!?? I mean, not that I have it or anything.... but HE might. And if I'm meeting person after person that's surely not wise in this current situation. 

I. Am. Having. A. BAD. Day. 

Welcome Back

Crikey... blimey... heaven to Betsy... it has been a while.  

I guess I've always been pretty sporadic with my blog. Life gets busy... and bloody hell since my last update in July 2020 let's be honest.... the whole world has gone topsy turvy. Corona Virus (Covid-19) has taken over the world and ambushed everyone - though I can't help but feel it's a bit of a personal attack on all of my life plans! Like, hey Jade, you wanted all this shit by 30... HA! Try get there now, Bitch. 

Sorry. It's 06:30am and I'm only half a coffee in..... my witty sense of humor isn't quite scratching the surface yet. However, after a nudge from a certain British energizer bunny, I've decided to write again. 

I quite enjoy doing these silly horoscope updates and taking the piss out of them... so I thought I'd do that today. 

I googled, Taurus Horoscope 4th February 2021 to see what the stars have in store for me today.... 

The first thing that caught my eye was: Is 2021 going to be a good year for Taurus? I braced myself and clicked. Bulls will thrive at work this year, it said. Well.... not quite something I can tear apart and ridicule myself for.... in fact, it is rather accurate. Just a few days into this year and I actually secured a job in an office. An OFFICE. During a world pandemic. I started, so ready to get back to work and after just one week they offered me a role higher up in the company and I had that interview yesterday and just found out I GOT THE JOB. I have job security and couldn't be more thrilled. It has been a ROUGH ride since moving to the UK.... I can hardly believe it has been a year since moving here. The world pandemic and lockdowns have made getting financially stable near impossible but I feel like I am finally getting there. I got a job... I got a car.... I got rid of an ex that didn't deserve me. I am feeling quite frankly as the delicious Irish people say, GRAND. 

However, enough of the positive, power to me crap. This is supposed to be a piss take. 

It's actually a really boring horoscope.... 
'Mercury will conjunct with Pluto'.... I mean, at least it isn't Uranus? I am such a child.

Why the hell are all the horoscope pages focusing solely on my career today? On another site it says I am prioritizing work and have big goals energy about me. 

FINALLY.. here's something different. Brilliant. Basically I am going to be an insecure, emotional wreck today. Great.

On another site, I will perform well at work today. WORK. That is clearly the stars focus..... perhaps it's a sign. STOP focusing on love, Jade. Focus on work. Drill that into my noggin. BUT.... it's almost Valentines Day. Last Valentines day I was completely alone in a new country hugging onto a balloon heart in a restaurant BY MYSELF. I also lost a really nice pair of sunglasses that night which really upset me. 

I wanted the year of my 30s to be different. I thought by now I'd be with someone, working towards marriage. Kids. The works. But my time got completely mucked around by an emotionally unstable asshole who didn't know what he wanted and had the maturity of a six year old.

WOW that felt good. Love a good rant. 

Anyway, I really do need to go and get ready for work and prepare myself for braving all these bloody roundabouts in Milton Keynes... but I'll try one more horoscope page before signing off. 

Ooo here we go. 
Astrology.com has suggested that I feed my soul music, dance, poetry... immerse myself in creativity. 

It's telling me to expand my music collection. 

I'll be honest, I hardly ever listen to music. I'm more of an audiobook listener - but you know what. Fine. I'll crank up the volume on my radio on my drive to work today and listen to some TUNES. 

There's a Singles Love section so I clicked on that, too.

Sometimes it is best going back to the classics, it says, Candlelit dinners and a dozen red roses are cliche but basically what I need, it says. And honestly, I have to agree. 

I'm ready for some romance in my life finally. I want someone to show me I deserve that at last. I'm tired of finding men that are too proud of frankly arrogant narcissistic twats who don't make the effort to make a woman feel special. 

I want romance, and I'm fekking hunting for it. 

OK... so this really wasn't the funniest. It's possibly the early start and lack of wine to fuel my wit. It's possibly just that the stars are reminding me that now is MY time to focus on me and work and get financially stable and build my life and BELIEVE ME I am freaking trying.... but there's always time for a bit of love and romance, surely??? 

Signing out for now. Might do this again sooner than you think. I do miss my blog. Really.

What Do The Stars Have To Say Today

Oh my God. 

Because I finally wrote on my blog last night after 2 glasses of delicious Malbec, I decided to scroll through my history and see how far I've come since my previous posts.... and I stumbled upon one the funniest entries I think I could possibly ever have written:

Jade's Funny Blog Entry


It has been a loooong time since I have bothered checking out my horoscope.. but man was it accurate just over a year ago! So, I thought I'd check it out this morning while I sit here in my little rickety flat, my washing machine about to take off into space. I'm sipping on a black coffee with yesterdays make-up still smudged over my face (yeah, I know. Terrible.). I'm in a pair of laddering black tights and an massive woolly jumper because I'm in England now... and it's cold. Who would have thought a year ago I'd be in the freaking UK!?  
Anyway - I'm feeling a bit run down today to be honest. I've just started a new job and am up on my feet for 11 hour shifts each day. My sleeping is little to none - I'm actually thinking about popping down to the pharmacy downstairs and giving some CBD oil a bash! Obviously only because I've heard it helps you sleep better... of course ;)
I'm getting off topic already. You see! This is why I can't be trusted when it comes to blogging! 
So the point of this entry was to check out my horoscope a year later and see what fruit it bears for me this time around because last year it was nothing short of bloody hilarious. 
I can't remember which website I used for my previous horoscope and I've no idea which one is the best... but I've just gone for the first one that shows up on Google. Astrology.com
Here it goes.... I've just clicked Taurus.

JUL 8, 2020: Your friendly demeanor has been a huge asset for you, but today it may give someone the impression that you're not going to put up a fight if you get pushed. Keep your fight-or-flight impulses in check. You may have to step into a defensive position that requires a great deal of finesse. There is someone in a place of power who wants to work around you today. Make it clear that you know exactly what you're doing, and they will see that they need to include you.

Hmm.. this one isn't quite as funny as the one from a year ago. It was so much easier to poke fun at the other one. But lets see what I can do. 

Fight-or-flight impulses... well.... I honestly have absolutely no bloody idea what my impulse is. I THINK I tend to run away or cock things up intentionally when things get serious because I get scared... or, that's what I used to do anyway. And to be honest, I'm in such a different headspace these days. If someone tried to argue or fight with me I'd just walk away to be honest. Aint no body got time for that. 

It also mentioned someone in 'power' wants to work around me today. That makes no sense as I am finally in control of my own life and I'm not giving anyone else the power. I make the rules for my life now. I call the shots and make the decisions while I work out exactly what I want in life... and no body is taking that away from me. I mean, obviously one day IF someone comes into my life that becomes my partner there will be compromise and all that hoojab BUT for right now, I like living my life for myself while I'm still figuring out exactly what it is I WANT in life.

So horoscope... you kind of failed me today! That's disappointing really. I enjoyed doing a blog post about this kind of thing last time.

Right below is was this:

Is he cheating on you? Enter a Live Psychic Chat Now to find out!

HAH! Nope. No one is cheating on me for the very first time because I am single and no longer vulnerable to the games men play! Power to me ;)

There's a bunch of different Taurus pages below that like Finances, Love, Flirt etc. I clicked on Singles Love and it told me that I'm better off flying solo right now.
Under the beauty section it told me that I need to stop trying to prepare such elaborate meals (guilty!). It also told me to do ten sit-ups CORRECTLY instead of trying to hit one hundred hahaha. I suppose that's a little hint that I actually need to start exercising again. I haven't gone for my usual 5k run since moving to this little village but that's PURELY because I'm scared of getting lost! 

Oooh it's just taken me to a section where I have to pick a tarot card. Lets see how that goes............

Well that was boring.

I got the Wheel of Fortune card. Basically it told me that I'll be distracted today and it will be hard for me to sit still (umm, that's every day!). It told me to make a list and focus on getting things done. So I've been trying to write a new chapter for my latest manuscript but every little thing is a distraction so this is true.... it also told me once I'm done to take a walk and stretch my legs. OK I GET IT!!!! I NEED TO EXERCISE GOD-DAMNIT!!

Maybe I should try a different page instead of astrology.com - all that site wants me to do is get off up my ass. While it may be right, it is finally my day off and all I want to do is stay off my feet today. I'll make a promise to myself to go for a run tomorrow - how's that??? :)

Oh oh oh! Ok. There's a horoscope.com. Lets try that one instead....

FFS. This one told me not to be 'smothering' today. Smothering?! I am single and live alone HOROSCOPE! I have no one to be smothering to!!! I think this thing is broken. It worked so well for me a year ago :( 

Anyway...

It has told me to spend my day not communicating with others but rather focusing on special tasks that have been on the backburner that require my attention. Ahem.... my manuscript. And to be fair, that IS my plan for the day. 

I don't really like Horoscope.com. There's too many pop ups for me. But, I checked out my tarot card of the day before exiting it. It was actually pretty accurate to be fair. I got 'The World' tarot card. It signifies a long journey coming to an end..... and lets face it, I've been on a hellish journey for so long now The cards depicts a butterfly in its last stage of life, fully transformed and ready to fly! I LOVE that. The card is a clear indicator that you have lived, you have loved and you have learned. OK. Considering just over a week ago I was so utterly lost and today I'm in this little flat and have a job to go to and am making things work for myself - I like this card!!! For everything that card symbolizes is definitely true. 

I have lived

I have loved.

I have learned. 

I'll Probably Write Again One Day

Hi.

Listen to this while reading this. I'll be themetuning all my entries from this point on. Hah.

I'm not going to pretend and say I'm going to make a comeback onto my blog. I'm not going to tell you this will become a new regular thing. I'm not consistent anymore when it comes to this blog so don't stick around if you want consistency here.. if anyone even reads this anymore. I don't know anymore. This blog was literally my first slice of social media way back when. I loved it. I interacted with so many people. I put SO much work and effort into it... but as the years have gone by and life has hammered away at me, my lust for blogging has slowly chiseled away. 

I mean, the last time I wrote here was in January 2020... and my GOD life couldn't look more different now. I have been through HELL. I guess everyone has, thanks to Corona Virus. 

Back in January, just to recap, I was writing about how I'd just accepted a job on a yacht and was expecting a year of travel and getting this incredible income I could just ferret away and just get back onto my feet financially. Oh how bloody wrong I was.

I headed off in February, one day before Valentines Day, leaving behind my absolute cunt of an ex who was on Tinder the entire relationship, lying, cheating, aggressive and threatening to kill himself with a GUN because he was the unstable one in all this but made me believe I was completely in the wrong the entire time! Who does that?? I know how to pick them, right!? 

I have proof of all the above by the way. And the horrible thing is I've been told all the nasty things he's saying about me behind my back which is NOT true - so therefore, I shall prove it wrong unapologetic-ally. I'm done with being the nice girl. Now, it's my time. My time to shine.

Anyway.

I jetted off to Spain in search of a new life. In order to find my feet. 

It wasn't long before Covid-19 took it's virusy grips on the world and forced everything to go into lockdown.

I hot-footed it to the UK before the borders closed and ended up staying on a friend's sofa for around 3 months. It was agony on my back and I cried long and hard trying to understand how my life had gone this way. I was literally homeless, penniless and completely out of my depth. I was sinking.

During lockdown I took my CV out to every grocery store I could but had no response. For 3 months I drove myself up the wall attempting to crochet, knit, macrame, paint in watercolors, learn the ukelele, sketch and try out vegan recipes. I very quickly learnt all the things I'm completely useless at... and that made it (hilariously) worse. 

I was an absolute mess trying to figure out how the HELL to make my life work. I had plans, goals.. ambitions. By 30 I wanted to be married and be getting ready to have a baby (that ship has sailed obviously haha. 30 is ten months away. There's no way I'll meet someone, get married and fall preggers in that time limit). It honestly broke my heart when I realised I wasn't going to get the life I always dreamed of having. I didn't know how to alter my mindset and I guess in a sense, I'm still struggling with it. Everyone always says not to worry and that I'm still young.... but they don't understand. I want to be a young mum. Before my mother and I became estranged we had the most amazing relationship.... before she got ill and wouldn't help herself get better. She used to be my best friend. I loved our age gap and how we would go away on girl trips to Thailand and Singapore and go for weekends away on Safari in South Africa. Once I hit 16 we just knew how to have fun together. I'm sad I'll never have that again. But it's something I would absolutely adore to have with my children one day, whether they be girls or boys. So the older I get, the more I just think I'll be a frumpy old mum instead of kind of a bestie.... because that's what my mother was to me before she broke my heart and fucked everything up. I'll never forgive her for the things she's said and done - but I'll always look back on those photos of our time together before she changed, with fondness. 

So............... eventually, after DAYS.. hours of END of scouring the internet and retyping my CV to every bloody website that wouldn't just allow me to send my actual PDF CV to them.. I got lucky. I got a job working in a high end hair salon. Directly after that I got offered a little flat of my own. 

I mean, it's a run down rickety little place but I love it. It's a work in progress that needs some serious TLC, but I did it!!

I am SO freaking proud of myself. How I went from being a hopeless, homeless, penniless and jobless person to this I have NO idea really. I guess all I can say is even if you're going through your roughest patch, it's OK to break down - but try to persevere.. because I did. And look at me now. 

I've hardly slept since I've been in my new place to be honest. I didn't realise quite how hard it would be to be alone again. Not in a romantic sense..... but this is literally the first time I've been completely alone since before Australia!! How bizarre is that!? And after what happened to me in South Africa, when those 2 men who THANKFULLY got caught broke into my house and held me down in bed and did stuff while the other robbed the place, it has left a pretty nasty emotional scars. It's my 2nd week here now and I still sleep with the lights on. I jump and stir at every little noise. I'm up at least every hour... but it comes with its perks as I have watched the most gorgeous sunrises at 4,30am because of it right from my bedroom window. 

I published my 2nd novel and I was OVERWHELMED by the amount of sales. Wow wow wow!!! I'm really thrilled with how it has gone so far and have already started writing my 3rd novel. Who knows if there's something concrete in there yet. It's early days. But I am now a published author of 2 novels. I am alone for the first time. I am taking my time, Discovering what is right - where as before I jumped into things and into people who were so so wrong for me. I needed this so badly. To discover not only myself but who I really want in life. But right now, for the very first time, I can tell you I'm happy alone. I'm focusing on building up my friendships. I'm focusing on work and being able to afford this little flat I got that's all mine. I'm focusing on the things I should have prioritized so long ago... but we live and we learn. 

Am I still a hopeless romantic?? I don't know anymore. 

I don't want to say I've become a cynic... that I don't think it will happen for me. But I don't know anymore. Lets face it. I've had so many failed attempts. The biggies being my ex fiance that knocked up my maid of honor and left me with a wedding dress collecting dust in the cupboard, an ex in Spain who shagged 8 women I know of behind my back (probably more), an Aussie who had me spend my entire life savings on a life with him in a foreign country only to one day tell his best friends mother to come over and tell me he doesn't love me anymore (he'd already clearly met someone else at his new job and was too much of a coward to give it to me straight), to coming back to South Africa and turning down the freaking Bachelor South Africa to pursue someone who I consider to be the most fucked up, insecure, neurotic and emotional mess of a man I have ever come across! My taste of men has needed a serious shake for a while. Thank GOD I realised that before I was in too deep. I'm living my best life now. I honestly don't know if I can or even WANT to be affectionate anymore. I don't know how to do it. I've tried. I've failed. Slowly, one by one, these dudes from my past shred me of every ounce of affection I have, really. It feels awkward to me now. I can't do it anymore. Perhaps I'm broken. All I know is that me reaching out to touch someone or to hug someone doesn't come naturally to me anymore. In fact, I recoil at the thought.
I don't know if I have it in my heart to actually do it again... not because I'm bitter. I'm just tired.... and for the very first time, I'm honestly happy alone. This is the very first time my life is on my terms.... and I'm reveling it.

Chat soon..... maybe. Probably not. Who knows.

But if you stick around, I'll probably write again.

One day.