Happiness is....

Things are going well with Funie and I. We've been together now for about two and a half weeks and I feel like we grow closer each and every day. We're so open with each other and tell each other everything. We goof around and laugh a lot. He makes me so happy.

My folks invited him over for dinner and he brought along a bottle of red wine as a gift. Instant hit with my mom! I also got invited over to meet his family and decided a box of chocolates would be a better idea to bring with me as at the end of the evening with my parents, Funie wasn't able to say goodbye because they were happily snoring on the sofa! Only my parents....

He also gets along great with Michael. That's a good thing because although Michael and I have ended things, we still consider each other very close friends. There are no hard feelings. Michael's one of those people that came into my life so unexpectedly, I think that he will always have a piece of my heart. But its time to face reality, grow up and move on. So although he'll always have a special piece of me, I'm giving Funie the rest.

Things seem to be working out perfectly.

Chantelle recieved R10'000 from Vodacom, which she's been ecstatic about. I don't think she's using the money wisely though. The gift card is valid until 2013; and on the first day that the card was activated she went out and bought jewelry and shoes! But its her money, her loss!

Valentines day is coming up and I've planned something lovely for Funie. I casually brought up presents and asked what sort of things he likes. He merely said that gifts are either a 'hit or a miss' with him. Hmm... Made me a bit nervous. So I've planned something else. He always asks me to massage his back and so I've booked him an amazing massage with my friend Janet. People don't stop talking about how amazing her massages are. So I've bought him a big valentines day card and inside will be his back massage information. Really hope he likes it!

Some more big news: I finally resigned from Curves. After a year there I finally realized that its not the industry I want to build my future around. Tomorrow is my last day there. Today work has been extremely stressful and a horrible way to end my employment there. We got robbed on Saturday afternoon. Whoever it was climbed through a window, forced open our cash box and must have cut themselves in the process. There's dry blood all over the window and I think he/she must have gotten a fright when our alarm went off because a wallet was found lying on the ground that wasn't there when I locked up. Inside the wallet was R40 and a couple of slips, one being an electricity slip, which could lead us straight to his house! So we're all keeping our fingers crossed that we catch whoever it was or else our Manager's said that we have to pay for what was taken out of our salaries..... So happy I stop working there tomorrow! It just seems paradoxical of them to say that we have to pay for someone breaking in and stealing money. It was theft! It wasn't our fault!

I got a job at Easy Holidays, a sales company. My role will be 'TeleMarketing.' I don't know if I'm going to enjoy it or do well, but I couldn't stay at Curves any longer so there's no harm in trying something else. I start on the 7th February, so I have 12 days to laze around and have a holiday before working again, in which I am praying for good weather so I can relax on the beach and surf for two weeks straight!

After I got the job on Friday, Funie took me out to celebrate. We partied so hard and only went to sleep at 05:30am on Saturday morning. We spent the whole day in bed like zombies.

On Sunday we finally felt human again and took Funie's puppy, Kasper, to the beach for a walk.

It was a good day. We always have good days.

I'm finally happy. I really hope it lasts.

Meeting Yoav

After clocking out of work on Tuesday afternoon I raced home to change before Funie came to pick me up in his white Colt bakkie.

He was taking me through to Plett to meet a famous musician, Yoav. His friend Warren, a wonderful, benevolent sort of guy, personally knows him from high school.

My ex boyfriend had introduced me to Yoav's music and I'd been hooked ever since, I couldn't believe that I had the benediction of meet him!

I was extremely let down and disappointed when I met him. Warren introduced me and I shook his hand, smiling like a goofy idiot and blurted out how big of a fan I was. He didn't smile, his only response was, "Oh, good," then retreated back to a board game with some anorexic harpist. He'd been completely disinterested. I wasn't sure exactly what I'd expected, but it definitely wasn't that!

Funie took me for lunch at The Heath, I had a big chicken salad and he had two scones. I've always enjoyed eating at The Heath. Lovely scenery, incredible food and a folk-like rustic vibe throughout the whole plot.

Out back is an Eagle Encounter center, where you can hold Eagle's on your arms and take advantage of the beauty of the world.

When you enter the bathrooms you have to be cautious of the wild monkey's roaming around, as a little girl I used to be petrified of going alone and with a tin roof top, any noise made me freak out.

In front is a beautiful maze garden and hammocks to lounge in. Its also a children-friendly place, with a small playground and exciting fuffy-slide that they only put in when I was too big to try it out, but either way I think it completes the place.

There's even a small trinklet shop selling African jewelry and other precious gems.

Warren works at The Heath and once we'd gotten there he apologized to us about Yoav's fictitious behavior.

Later that night we all met up by a camp fire for a braai and some drinks. Yoav was there (without the easily breakable harpist,) and seemed much more pleasant this time round.

I couldn't believe I was around a small campfire with only about five other people, including Yoav! He even got out his guitar and played us never before heard songs that he's working on and one of my favorite older numbers!

So maybe my first impression was wrong.

Yesterday has definitely been the highlight of my year so far; getting to snuggle into Funie while watching one of my favorite musicians unplugged around a warm camp fire.

Someday Your Ocean Will Find Its Shore

New year, new chance, new boyfriend and new beginnings.

Starting my blog off fresh, no longer dwelling on the past. All the things I had yet to answer, all the stories with no ends, will be kept that way. I am now looking towards the future, writing about 2011 and 2011 alone.

With a New Year, comes New Year Resolutions... these were mine:

1) Put a fixed amount of my salary into my savings account at the end of every month for the next 12 month (saving towards my Italy trip that I will one day embark on!)

2) De-clutterize my room (could take a while!)

3) Drink & smoke less (so far not going as planned...)

4) Don't give up on surfing, keep it up and get good! (just got my first board! So far, so good!)

5) Take up new things I.E yoga, jogging, cooking classes, horse-riding etc.

2010 was a pretty unstable year for me. Splitting up with Lydon after a three year relationship made me get my first real taste of freedom and I took full advantage of it. After we split, I chopped off the majority of my hair, dyed it platinum blonde, got new piercings & tattoo's... My ultimate goal is to make 2011 a better and more stable year. I have met a great guy that may be able to help me with that! We've seen each other around and about for a few years but after my family abandoned me of Christmas night to go party, I decided to ditch the sweats and chick flicks, and head out for drinks at Cornuti's. I saw him in the crowd and decided to say hello. Instant sparks.

We had a wonderful couple of hours together. In those few hours I realized that he treated me better than anyone had in a long, long time. Both sad and lovely!

On Boxing Day he'd made prior arrangements to leave before the sun rose for the Transkei with some buddies. He was gone for eleven days.

It has been tough getting over Michael, but I've finally moved on. I finally realized that I never stood a chance. I did think it would take a lot longer to move on, but when you find something great, you have to seize the moment.

Funie and I have spent a grand total of four days together so far, each one of them has been filled with great memories and lots of smiles. When he got back on Thursday, we met on the Yellowbrick Road behind Fruit & Veg City and took our dogs for a walk along the lagoon side.

We went out for a couple of drinks afterwards and eventually ended up back at his house. I was insanely tired and closed my eyes on his bed for a few minutes. He was lying besides me. Reluctantly and slowly I parted my lashes after a few minutes, knowing I needed to head home. I felt his hands stroking my cheek. Even though my eyes had been closed, he'd been lying there watching me drift off.

"Your so pretty." he whispered.

Friday night we headed out to Zanzibar with a couple of his friends and everyone was coming up to me asking if he was my new boyfriend. I laughed and told him what they were asking and he looked at me with a serious expression on his face and said, "Do you want me to be?" and that's how we became official!

Since then we've already been surfing together twice, I've met his lovely family and even had dinner with his sister and her hubby tonight.

So life has taken a strange and unexpected turn. I'm enjoying not knowing what's coming. This life can bring you so many amazing surprises, you just need to welcome them.

I've started living by a beautiful quote that has started to make me things so differently. Amazing how a couple of words can do that to you:

Someday Your Ocean Will Find Its Shore.

Freelance Journalist

I have been thrown into the deep end... In a world that I know nothing about.
Chantelle, my co-worker, was stopped in town the other afternoon and a lady called Abigail asked her if she would ever be interested in writing for their up and coming newspaper. Chantelle laughed in their faces, "Me?! A writer?" she giggled, then she thought for a second and remembered me. "I do have a friend though, who loves writing, you should give her a call," she gave over my contact number and I waited a couple of days before an SMS arrived through on my phone, telling me that I have an interview.
At first I thought it would be a breeze, but closer to the time my heart began to thump and my hands trembled from my nerves. I suddenly realized that this could be a fundamental part of my life, giving me experience in the workforce that I hope to end up in. I realized that if I messed this interview up, I could potentially lose my dream forever.

I arrived at the interview, surrounded by crowds of other people, all applying for the same position it would seem. I had yet to learn that there were thousands of positions being offered, depending on the candidates strengths and interests.
We were sent into the interview room in bulk, all gathered around a table, trying to pull ourselves together and come forward as a confident individual perfect for their business.

As many of you know, I am one of the least racist people you could find, so I say this in the most harmless and innocent way possible: I was the only white person applying to work with these people. The only fairer skinned person I came across was the CEO of the company. This intimidated me as I wondered just how prestigious this place could be, how far it would get me; and a million other things ran through my mind that made me doubt whether I was right for this job.

The interviewers asked us many of the usual questions you would get in any normal interview... What were our strengths and weaknesses? Why do you think you would be a good person to work for us? They then added in a question that I believe we were all least expecting... How do we think the economy is South Africa is?
Again being the only white person - this question was a struggle for me, having eyes of different races melting through my skin (or at least that is what it felt like). I was always the first in the group that had to answer the questions, so I fed off of no one else's confidence and wisdom. It was petrifying, but I ploughed through and the newspaper would like me to become a freelance journalist with them.
I need to hand in a piece of writing, showing my writing potential, by Thursday. They said that it could be based on anything. A make-believe article, a story, anything... I doubt that they would be interested in my little romance novels I have stored on my PC.
What do you write to impress a newspaper that has given you no lead on the sort of thing they are interested in reading from you?

I have reached a plateau in my writing. Better put... I am stumped.

Welcome to Heart Break Street

Feeling so low tonight... I don't know why.

Feels like I'm going to explode into an outrageous flood of tears at any moment.

The roller coaster ride with Michael and I continued for a short while, where I had never felt happier. Although we never put labels to it, he began to treat me as a girlfriend and the smile could never be wiped off my face around him.

I fell.

Madly, truly and deeply in love.

He didn't even have to try, he made me effortlessly happy. But again, family came first, and things had to end.

It shouldn't be so hard. It should be a choice between two people, if it feels right then why not be together!? No one else matters when you know your happy. For once I put myself before all others, but as hard and as determined as I fought, it was not good enough. I'd never fought so hard for anything. I poured my heart and soul out.

I still feel so greatly for him, but I know its over. We can't be together. It's like a modern day Romeo and Juliet. I waited for two months until I eventually realized nothing is ever going to happen. So I moved on, trying to forget my heartache.

We are still friends. We still surf together and we're still off to the Transkei in December, a lot of people tell me its weird, but if they only knew how much Michael and I got along, they would understand. I would rather have him in my while as a friend, than nothing at all. I know nothing is going to happen again, there would be no point because it would just lead me to more heart pain. But friends I can manage.

We never shut up around each other, we always have fun times and adventures, I wouldn't give that up. He's really like a best friend to me. I love him in a way that I want him to be happy, whether it be with someone else, as long as he's happy. I just want him there as a friend above all else.

The pain in my heart surfaces sometimes - like tonight I guess. I feel pathetic and useless, I can't turn to him because I really don't want to harm the relationship I have left with him.

The castles that we built were so tall, it only left is further to fall....

I know my heart will heal, slowly. Its going to take a good while though :(