Stumbling My Way Through Life One Glass of Wine at a Time

Stumbling My Way Through Life One Glass of Wine at a Time

Tuesday, May 14, 2019

7 Months Later...

Tomorrow is my 28th birthday. 
I cannot believe I'm almost thirty and have a life totally different to what I had envisioned long ago when people asked me where I saw myself in five years time. 
I want to start this blog back up again as I enter a new year of my life where I'm hoping many of the things I've been dreaming will happen, might finally actually happen!

I'd planned on being married by now, having kids, being an author of bestselling novels and living somewhere with my own herd of dogs and cats.

I have none of that right now.

I'm in a relationship with a man I adore - he's the love of my life but the relationship itself has a testing one.
I feel like we are finally in a great place after a tremendous amount of hard work that is still ongoing.
I'll be honest - we see a couples therapist.
When we're good we're amazing but when we're bad it's like world word three has erupted. We're both incredibly stubborn - but we love each other dearly. Despite our (major) differences, he is the best thing to ever happen to me and I truly cannot imagine my life without him.

Recently a close friend of mine died with his partner in a motorbike accident in Vietnam. Another friend of mine fell from a mountaintop and has become disabled. Someone I once knew during my time in Mallorca just lost her partner. 
All of these things scare the hell out of me.
How would I cope if I lost my partner, M? I really don't think I would.
I get scared because as Buddha once said, 'The Trouble Is, We Think We Have Time.' 
There's so much I want in life and so much I'm ready for and the thought that something could happen in the blink of an eye whether it be my death or my partners - it's too much to comprehend. I've had the future ripped away from me before when I lost my ex fiance. I'm finally in a good place - albeit my wonderful curse of anxiety. I can't lose what I've worked so hard for again. The cruelty of it would destroy me. 

Anyway - this is supposed to be an uplifting blog post. My first in over 7 months... to let you know that I've made some changes on here. I'm no longer under the blog name Bohemian Muses. 
Instead I've changed it to Words and Wine With Jade (Words and Wine was taken...). 
I'm changing my tune with the whole blog thing. I want to document my life as it is now in Australia... a place I NEVER thought I'd wind up! 

So much in my life is so different than the last time we caught up... so different from the life I've always lived... and I'm not the best at adapting lets be honest!! 
Life over the past year has been bloody tough..... but I feel like good things are finally happening. Things are looking up and I want to write again. 

So here we go... to anyone (if there is anyone) that still reads this...



Tonight M is taking me out for an early birthday dinner.
We have an absolute weirdo staying in our spare room at the moment booked through AirBnb.
I can't stand that we let out our spare room... nothing about it makes me comfortable and for some obscure reason we always seem to end up hosting the absolute nut-bags!
This guy is ex military for Afghanistan with PTSD. He can't go out in the sunlight because he had some kind of chemical peel to remove his wrinkles, freckles and blemishes on his face. He looks like a shiny lobster and jumps at every opportunity to talk to us. If you give him an inch he'll take over a mile!
I'm sorry but when I get home from work all I want to do is put on an episode of Masterchef Australia or The Bachelor, pour myself a glass of red wine, prep dinner and CHILL THE HELL OUT. 
However, this guy decided to tell me his life story... and that the reason he's staying with us is because he's busy going through a breakup.
He started rattling on about women's instincts since the caveman era to always have a back up plan and remain close to the same or higher status males than their current partner in case something were to happen to their man and they needed looking after.... his ex girlfriend was chatting to a number of different guys while with him.

Can I also just say here that he is 35 and she is 22???


He told me he can't drink because he's going through some sort of treatments for his mental health but loves smoking weed then going to the gym to lift weights...... ahem....

Our spare room churns out a baffling amount of people like this with stories you just can't make up. It's hilarious but I'm so sick of people in my space.
I'm the kind of girl that walks out of the bedroom either naked or just in hot pants and a vest if I need something from the kitchen.
I like to put my feet up after work and enjoy the silence before M gets home from work with snacks and wine... pretty much looking like a complete slob. But why not?! It's supposed to be my safe space.
I enjoy taking a bath with a lush bathbomb, wine and candles... and the bath is in the spare bathroom that gets taken over by guests when we get bookings.

To put it bluntly - it's just annoying. 
THAT'S why we're going out for dinner this evening... luckily he checks out tomorrow and we can finally have our space back again so we plan to spend my real birthday snuggled up on the sofa watching Netflix and probably very little clothing.

Ahhh bliss! 

I'm not sure where we're going tonight.
I've hinted enough times that oysters is my preference. I'm not entirely subtle - hey, I know what I want!! And oysters are painfully expensive in Australia. They're a very special treat for us whereas in South Africa we can gorge on them all night long!

He's told me to dress-up a little bit and meet him somewhere after work. 
I have on my leopard print (never thought I'd be a leopard print girl!!) playsuit, a beige trench coat and a big fluffy scarf.
I attempted to curl my hair but halfway through the working day it's gone flat already.
I've made an effort though and I'm excited to have a romantic evening out with him after work.

Oh right - I work at Urban Arts Projects now.
Fine Art is an industry I know well - but this is a fascinating difference as it's more in the manufacturing side of things.
I get to see these gorgeous art pieces getting made from scratch.
It's a big, noisy warehouse - very different from the posh galleries I'm used to working in... but I'm enjoying it! I'm just a temp... it's harder than I ever thought possible to find a good full time job here in Australia.
First it was the working holiday visa limiting me to only 6 months contracts - and now that M and I have finally submitted our partnership visa I have a bridging visa allowing me to work full-time.... which reminds me I really should put more work into that bloody visa!!!
There's so many documents to upload - really odd information that they need such as a list of all of our ex partners, their full dates of births, the beginning and end dates of those relationships and the reason we broke up.
I mean...... REALLY????
To me it's absurd.... but we're getting through it as best we can.

I've been temping for the past year and a half here in Brisbane - not having that job stability is hard for me as I've always been permanently employed AND in high demand actually!!
Yet here I apply for thousands of jobs and barely ever even get a call back.
So recruiters are helping me find temp work.

This current position is a reception role which doesn't pay well but it's a usual Mon-Fri gig for about two months while their usual receptionist recovers from a broken wrist. 
It's weird for me never knowing what's on the cards - where I'll be in a few months time.
I've always been a planner.
I like being in control and having that security. 
There's a lot about my life now that I'm still trying to get used to... but I'm taking it one glass of wine at a time. 

If you got through all of this please reach out to me and say hello!

My email is: jadewright15051991@hotmail.com

It would mean everything to me to know someone out there actually reads this shit :)


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9 comments:

  1. Oh wow, so much has been going on! I hope you have a very happy birthday though and enjoy your night out! :)


    Away From Blue

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  2. Oh my goodness, very sorry to hear about all of the tragic things that has happened to people you know. Life has ups and downs so it's best to cherish each moment. I hope you have a wonderful birthday.

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  3. Wow, so many big things that have happened to you...I hope you enjoyed your birthday and took a moment to cherish all that is GOOD. Happy Birthday! XO

    Shauna

    www.lipglossandlace.net

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  4. It's fun to read about different aspects of your life, I agree with finding a stable job in Australia is damn hard. But persistent always pays off so just keep looking until you land on your dream job. That is such a creepy story having weird boarders in your house, I wouldn't be able to stand it either. Have a great week!

    www.busyandfab.com

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  5. Happy Birthday. Sending hugs.
    www.rsrue.blogspot.com

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  6. LOVED catching up on your life, babe. Isn't it interesting where life leads up, sometimes to places and to people we'd never imagine we'd be with or go.....
    I must say, in all the years I've known you, you look happiest with your current beau. Nothing wrong with seeing a therapist - hey, if it helps, why the eff not, right?

    That's terribly sad about all the loss around you - makes me think about those around me. Life truly is short and we all think we have boatloads of time when really, we have no flippin clue. It could all be over tomorrow and yet here we are, most of us, taking time for granted. I was thinking that the other day and how old my mom is now (72 this year) and it pains me to think of the day that she goes. Time just flies by, you don't notice it when you're younger but when you're older, holy hell, do you ever.

    So nice to see you back babe. :) xoxo

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Jade