How To Ask Your Girlfriends Dad If You Can Marry Her

How old school are your folks? Some women should seriously come with a big red flashing caution sign: 
ENTER AT OWN RISK.

I just so happen to be one of those lucky ladies.

Yip. It’s literally like I’m living in a bloody 1800’s novel – the man who wishes to make me his wife must seek the approval of my father first.

So, to help all of you other ladies out there who could compete for World’s Most Ridiculously Overprotective Father – I’ve put together a step by step tutorial on how your man can win over your dad (that’s one massive hurdle out the way!) and then get the balls to pop the question to you!

• Step 1: Bring a really nice bottle of whiskey along to a dinner with her folks.
• Step 2: Warm up her parents good spirits with a hilarious round of charades (claim to have never played before – then suddenly kick everyone’s ass!)
• Step 3: Devour all food given to you and gush about how great it was.
• Step 4: Demolish about 5 glasses goblets of wine, a tumbler filled with scotch and a bottle and a half of whiskey.
• Step 5: Begin to slur amidst mindless rambles with girlfriends father (mother has mysteriously disappeared to bedroom after her 16^th glass of wine).
• Step 6: Casually blurt out mid conversation, “I’d like to marry your daughter!” Sway in your seat while trying to focus on one of the two visions of said father before you . . . and brace yourself for the cold sweat and silence that follows.
• Step 7: Once the initial shock is over there are three ways that this can go.

a. A complete and utter disaster. A straight out NO.

b. Really well. He accepts your offer (and you start to feel like he’s actually delighted about pawning off his daughter to be someone else’s problem).

c. He considers your offer – but plans on watching you squirm and grovel just a little bit more by demanding to have a boys day out under more sober circumstances. Basically, he wants to pre-warn you about all of the skeletons hiding in your girlfriend closet so that you know exactly what you’re getting yourself into.  

• Step 8: If C, begin the squirming and apologizing, trying to say, “it was said in jest! It’s just because I just love her so so much!!” … AHEM…. Suck up. Father at this stage takes slight pity on you and tells you that he knows you will be great and he practically offers his blessing to you on a platter but still wants to take you out for a chat before popping the question to his daughter – the reasons for this chat will forever be unknown to us women.
• Step 9: With a massive sigh of relief, shake his hand and then continue with the alcohol induced night solely based on marriage discussions from this point on. Let the father of your soon to be bride tell you all of his stories (these will be good and bad,) of proposing and marriage. Finish the night off with a debate about the nitty gritty of prenups and so on.
• Step 10: Wake up with a ROARING hangover and smelling like a brewery – roll over in bed and look worriedly into your girlfriends eyes and say, “Jade, I think your dad asked me to marry him last night!”