...Let Your Wound Scab Over...

You know when you're having a catastrophic, putrid week and you're not sure where to really begin explaining it...? Well that has been my story for the last couple of days.

I guess I should start from the 13th of January, the day of my last blog post. 

13th January 2012: I had an interview at Bamboo Guest Lodge over my lunch break today. Yes, lunch break - I am still working at Jam Factory until month end. Some might find that cruel, to make me work and see people who had to let me go... but I love it here and it also gives me something to do. Gosh - I sound like I have no life! Alas, the people at Jam Factory just have such a great vibe. They are clean, fun-spirited, intelligent people and associating yourself with such people helps you to grow. I have learnt so much since being a part of their team and I wouldn’t take it back for the world.
Bamboo Guest Lodge is absolutely breath-taking. I parked my car in a cluttered little lot and ventured up a wooden walkway on stilts over a beautifully lush, green garden. I had no idea where the reception was and instantly regretted wearing heels as I had to carefully yank them out from the spaces between the planks. Only me... if its not toppling over my own shoes its walking into a glass door or pushing the door when I should be pulling...
After about a minutes’ walk through the garden, adorned with gorgeous Buddha statues, I found the rustic looking entrance to the reception.
Everyone was so friendly and I was completely overwhelmed by four or five big, excitable canines all wanting to suss me out.
The position that I applied for was a live-in position which was one of the few things putting me off, as I’d been planning on moving into my own little flat this coming May. But with such beautiful scenery, who could really say no?

After getting back to work the accounts lady thrust me the weekly copy of Action Ads where she had kindly circled a job opening for a Spa. So off I went, scrubbing up my CV and trotting over to the fax machine to send it out for what appeared to be the millionth time. Before the day ended, my inbox had a total of one unread message in it. I had no real expectations and thought it was probably junk I’d subscribed to as usual, but it wasn’t!
I organized an interview with Pezula Hotel & Spa for Saturday afternoon as their Spa’s front desk coordinator.

14 January 2012: I woke up extremely early and started planning my outfit for my interview with Pezula. I was dreading putting on a slightly over-sized suit on as it was a cracking 32 degrees once again!
I had butterflies churning my stomach up all day and I wondered why I was so nervous for this interview when yesterday I had winged it at Bamboo Guest Lodge? Then I realized that it is where my best friends ex works. I have a bit of a scrambled history with my best friend but through it all we have stuck by each other and become very close. It is almost as though nothing ever happened between us... And when he found someone that made him as happy as he seemed, I was thrilled for him. Although I never met her, it felt like I had known her for months with the amount he rambled on about her.
Upon arriving for my interrogation session I caught a glimpse of her behind the Spa desk. I introduced myself as Jade, Michael’s friend.  She was not happy to see me; she even rolled her eyes at one point. I was a bit taken aback as Michael had told me what a beautiful soul she has and how kind and caring she is, so for her to have reacted in such a way to me completely threw me off of my game. I think it is almost hypocritical of someone to portray themselves as a spiritual, peaceful person and then turn around and treat someone they have never met before like a parasite. It’s not really like she even had a reason to dislike me… in all fairness I was in his life before her so it should be the other way around, but I was more than willing to be friendly. I never once tried to take him away from her; in fact I had been so excited to meet the person who had managed to suddenly light up his world.... but things ended for them and so the story goes….

As for my interview at Pezula, it went amazingly! For one, working in a Spa would be great experience considering I have just graduated with distinctions from the Beauty Therapy Institute... just another goal ticked off of my checklist!
Pezula also want me to help out in their gym when their trainer wants to go on leave which would also be great experience for me.  I cannot help but feel that for the first time in a long time, my luck has changed.
So I will start my new chapter on the 6^th February just after going to the Up The Creek Music Festival on the Breede River.
Happy Days!

15 January 2012: Shaun Barnard and I split up this afternoon. They say that the truth always comes out in the end… well, in this case, it did. He lied to me about something that I consider very important (before you jump to conclusions, no he did not cheat!)
Our relationship had become exhaustingly rocky over the past few months and this was just the final breaking point.
I wound up in Sedgefield at the beach and had an absolute blast with far too many shooters, cocktails and various other kinds of alcoholic beverages. I guess I was trying to drown away my sorrows. I met some really amazing people today: travelers, surfers, hippy bums, and all sorts with the most interesting life stories. I became quite connected with one kite-surfer in particular, we just clicked.
A wild and blurry night was had.

16 January 2012: Heading back into reality and facing my bruised heart, I just couldn’t man up to go to work today along with a cracker of a hangover.
I went out again this evening with one of the people I met the night before.
It was so refreshing to meet new faces and having the power to be who I have always wanted to be. If you try and 'find yourself' while still associating yourself with the same group of friends, often you end up feeling silly, almost as though they are judging you in some way.
Everything I had always wanted to be and knew I could be really become tangible this evening.
There is no denying that it was great to be around someone closer to my own age as well. I often find that I associate myself with people a lot older than myself, and I end up trying to measure up to their level of maturity. It was so freeing to just be the wild and young twenty year old that I am. I didn’t have to worry about people thinking I was immature. For once, I didn’t feel ashamed about my age.

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OK so maybe it doesn’t seem like I’ve had the crappiest couple of days. I was offered an amazing job, I met new people and realized being just me is enough (thank God!) but losing a relationship that you were in for a year really takes its toll on you. Shaun became a huge piece of me, probably the largest piece of me actually.
I’m sure sooner or later I will forgive him for his mistakes and we can move forward slowly, one step at a time. But as for now I still need to give the wound time to scab over.