Death of Love

My fairy tale with Michael ended. He told me it was because we could never get married due to the family issues, with Kane in my past and also because I'm still 19 and have my own dreams that he wants me to follow.

Of course my heart shattered into pieces. I got angry and told him to make his mind up and stick to it for once, as it had always been a bit of a roller-coaster ride with him.

I am looking for something serious; so I'm not going to wait around for nothing.

We are friends now. Still hang out every so often and I get to see the puppy.

Finally got my tattoo I've been wanting for over a year too!!! So stoked with it. Couple of things I want to touch up and add to it but for now its awesome.

Was really proud of myself too, because I sat through the whole tattoo by myself, no one was there to hold my hand! Faced and conquered my fear!!!! :)

Did something pretty different last week. Chantelle and I went for lunch at this small Italian cafe, and I thought the waiter was good looking. Totally my type and totally not at the same time. He's sort of rugged looking, with tattoo's and a very stylish fashion sense. He wears dark rimmed glasses and has blonde hair and blue eyes.

Apparently as Chantelle was trying to order her food he wouldn't stop looking at me. She only decided to tell me after we left and I went into another cafe, grabbed a pen and paper and wrote my number down for him. Chantelle took it back to him and I was expecting him to wait a couple of days before contacting me. About 2 hours later I got a message.

We began flirting away and met up for a drink a few days later. We got on pretty well and decided on a second date :)

Friday night I couldn't get home because there was a big road block and we'd all been out drinking, so he said I could stay at his place in town.

It was a very sweet night. He cuddled me close all night, stroking my back and giving me soft kisses. It didn't go any further.
I've realized now that guys aren't going to respect you if you just give it all up on the first night, and I'm not that sort of girl. I really respect him for not trying to go further too. It really surprised me and made me feel so good about myself.

Saturday night we put on a movie called Shutter Island (FUCKED UP MOVIE!!!!) and he made is the most delicious Italian dinner and pudding I've ever tasted!!! We fell asleep on his couch, me in his arms. He woke me up at 3am to ask if I was comfortable and warm.

As I said, I am looking for something serious and so far he is a great guy that I'd love to carry on seeing, but another thing I've recently learnt is to not get your hopes up. Majority of the time you just end up being disappointed. So we'll see what happens, guess I'm just scared to get hurt again.